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Scorpion Nationals at Tenby Sailing Club - Day 4

by Tom Jeffcoate 10 Aug 2011 19:22 BST 6-12 August 2011

Scorpion Nationals day 4 – sponsored by Pimms!

Racing has been cancelled today due to too much wind so instead of relaying action on the water you will have to make do with events off it. Perhaps somewhat worryingly last night saw the club packed to the rafters with competitors and spectators for the Scorpion fleet’s very own Miss Wales competition. As the pictures will no doubt testify the standard of entrants was very high and the most coveted title of the week was decided only after the most intense competition.

Following a lot of free Pimms and under the close supervision of hosts Alan Ritchie and Linda Wolfenden round one was an introduction to the “ladies” and a quick question with points awarded for smuttiness and double entendre. All entrants received a score out of 30 based on the opinions of the three judges Sarah Parsons, Rachel Rhodes and Lady Helen of Holden. Early casualties were Ivana Humpalot and Ivana Cock of East European descent, Bella End, Chasey Lain and Miss Take while the crowd favourites were Sandy Crack, Burleigh Chassis and defending champions, the Angel Twins. There was also speculation that a new video might be in the offing on the Rooster website shortly following the performance of Miss Paxo.

The second round was special talents with some standout performances by former lapdancer Burleigh Chassis and The Angel Twins. Sandy Crack was unfortunately disqualified for being related to one of the judges while Miss Take, Ruby of Ripon and Ethel Wothersprocket were also eliminated. This left 4 finalists for the swimsuit round: Burleigh Chassis, Miss Fit, Dai Jones and the Angel Twins. Each had 20 seconds to put forward their case to win however they felt most appropriate. The final decision however was swayed by the mesmerising performance of Burleigh Chassis recreating her old striptease routine and despite the blatant flashing of Miss Fit and the combined beauty of the Angel Twins the crowd voted overwhelmingly to crown her Miss Wales 2011.

And now the tongue can come out of the cheek and I’ll finish by saying that I think I’m still traumatised but I can’t remember laughing so hard for quite so long for a very long time. Hope you like the pictures!

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