Please select your home edition
Edition
Selden 2020 - LEADERBOARD

D-Zero Open at Rossendale Valley Sailing Club

by Zippy Zero 17 Apr 2019 11:49 BST
D-Zeros at Rossendale Valley © Paul Hargreaves

The Adventures of Zippy Zero: Zippy scuba dives in Lancashire

Yippee from Zippy!! I got taken out to my first Open Meeting with my new Owner this week! I was super excited to meet up with some kindred souls and compare notes on Zero fashion and speedy accessories, not to mention blasting around a course out of control and playing some favourite games such as chase, leapfrog and synchronised swimming!

The venue was Rossendale Sailing Club, tucked up in the South Pennines. We travelled over a day early, to get me calmed down and prepared for what was forecasted to be a very windy weekend. Our Rossendale D Zero host, Mick Green came out to play in his D-Zero, who supported a sassy GB flag tattooed on its bow. Cool, man. We had a very pleasant few hours tootling around until the sun went low and the temperatures started to plummet.

The following morning it was freezing, and a strong Easterly wind had started to blow. We got out to the start line, which was very short and angled to make a starboard start very tricky indeed! I set off on port tack, nipped and tucked between a few boats and headed for the hills. After rounding the top mark in third, I overtook another. Back in third after the next beat, the downwind leg had some fierce gusts which did not look kindly on my leaders. With both of them splatted, I took the lead for a while, until the wind shifted drastically on the next beat. Meanwhile I was having a minor wardrobe malfunction down below. My kicker rope had found its way into the mainsheet block and was forming a large viper-like mass of writhing dyneema. It had the potential to spoil the show and Owner was trying to find a quiet moment to sort it in the 25 knot gusts. When that moment appeared on a wild reaching leg, Owner had her head deep in my midriff performing a spaghetti-plucking operation and inadvertently followed the Zero of Ed Deacon around the wrong mark. Realising her mistake, she spun me back and lost a place. Ahh well, snakes and ladders; another favourite game.

The second race started without us, as we had failed to hear the hooter and there were no flags. It was very windy, and my sails were flapping very loudly. We never recovered and finished that race 5th. For the final race, we had an excellent start and, following a number of competitor swims, took the lead for a leg and a half, to finish 4th after a few dodgy shifts. The race was won by God Valentine; the maker, allocator and seeya later (because he was only with us for one day) of all things Zero. I was honoured to share a little piece of water with him and will keep his number etched on my transom in case I should ever be needing plastic surgery or new body parts welding on (like my Owner does). Another day visitor was the newcomer Ian Lloyd Williams, who collected his brand new Zero and showed his junior vessel around the race course. I look forward to giving that boat some of my party trick tips in the near future.

I rushed back to my trolley at the end of the day's racing and joined some of my new friends for a little kite flying session to warm up our frozen Owners. It was a joy to watch them hoping and dancing along the shoreline trying to retrieve our mainsails. I also enjoy this game with a sail bag, boat cover or halyard.

The Owners joined forces and got us unruly boats packed up and covered so that they could warm up in the local pub for a well-earned pint and seafood meal for the swimmers amongst them.

By Sunday, the wind had increased, and we had 3 back-to-back races in gusts of 30 knots. A new course was up, and it still featured the two gybe marks each lap. One was located very close to the shore and the other next to the dam; presumably at the request of the photographers.

The fourth race was a blur and I don't have much recollection of it. The fifth race was another where I had a moment playing leader, due to submerged vessels. I reached off in the biggest gust of the day, which stayed with me, propelling me towards the dam like an albatross on curry. The gap between the gybe buoy and dam seemed impossibly narrow and Owner hesitated with the gybe. She steered me on until I could feel the back wave from the wall and then lurched me into a spectacular do or die carve gybe; both of us with our eyes closed. We made it, but the next mark was now such a tight reach and we were sailed over by Ed Deacon, who took the win that race with us coming second.

By the final race, it was survival conditions. I had established a very comfortable second place behind Gavin Fleming with a lap to go. As I approached the dam gybe mark (pun intended), Owner worked me higher to try and get a slight wind shadow from the trees upwind and getting in an early gybe. I was still having anxiety about our last wall of death gybe that I was having none of it and decided to do an aquatic version of an ostrich with its head in the sand. When the message for the gybe came into the engine room, I turned the power off and parked my boom in the centreline. There was a moment of hush; the boom hovering for eternity, whilst Owner bounced left and right like a football goalkeeper awaiting the deciding penalty on Cup Final day. She went the wrong way of course and it was all over, or rather, I was all over.

The recovery was a messy affair involving rescue boat crews, tow lines to get me away from the wall and copious amounts of snot and water pouring from various orifices. Once upright, I pinned my mainsheet tightly under my flip rudder, where Owner couldn't reach it and made a bid for home.

Amazingly, I finished the weekend in joint 3rd place, with my friendly host. On the way home, I had to analyse my cowardly dam evasion. I still have nightmares of my sleek and pointy mast being sucked with crunchy snapping noises through the "out" valve or whatever churning gadgets are affixed to these reservoir dams. But worse still are the visions of my Owner paying increasingly generous contributions to the university education of my Insurer's children, plus the funding of a new glass domed GJW Insurance Tower Block, complete with a swimming pool adorned with a picture of an empty wallet and the words Zippy Zero crafted in mosaic on the bottom.

We live to race another day.

Overall Results:

1st Gavin Flemming, 183 (Hunts)
2nd Ed Deacon, 54 (Hunts)
3rd= Liz Potter, 187 (West Kirby)
3rd= Mick Green, 182 (Rossendale Valley)
5th David Valentine, 66 (Emsworth Slipper)
6th Ian Lloyd Williams, 313 (Bala)

Related Articles

D-Zeros at Grafham
The weekend brought together three dynamic fleets for some fantastic racing The Grafham D-Zero Open, expanded to a two-day event this year, took place over the weekend in glorious conditions. Held alongside the Hadron H2 Inlands and RS600 Inlands, the weekend brought together three dynamic fleets for some fantastic racing. Posted on 21 May
Zippy Zero returns to Largs
Largs Chandlers Harken One Design Regatta sees 57 boats on the Clyde Greetings from Zippy the D-Zero, weary from my 516 mile round trip to Largs at the weekend. It was the yearly spring one-design regatta, sponsored by both the local Largs Chandlery and Harken, who make my sleek, efficient body parts. Posted on 20 May
D-Zero Northerns at Yorkshire Dales
A mixed forecast greeted the sailors A mixed forecast greeted the sailors, who mostly arrived on the Friday evening and several met up for a welcome meal in the Clarendon with a great Game Pie, hoping it was windy on Saturday... Posted on 6 May
D-Zero Open at Bough Beech
Greeted by a light breeze twirling all over the place Saturday 12th April saw the 2nd event of the D-Zero national traveller series held at Bough Beech SC in sunny Kent. 4 visitors & 2 home D-Zeros were greeted by a light breeze twirling all over the place. Posted on 2 May
D-Zero Open at Emsworth Slipper
Some locals put off by the breeze and maybe the lack of heat A bright and breezy day met the four visitors and eight locals for the early Open meet, some locals put off by the breeze and maybe the lack of heat in the sun, however the rest persevered and were quickly delivered to the race area. Posted on 2 May
Zippy Zero's Week of Naughtiness at West Kirby
Let me explain, your honour... Hello folks from Zippy the D-Zero, reporting from the WKSC boat park after a long winter of hibernation and boredom. The week has involved a series of outings, with which my Owner was Not Pleased. Let me explain, your honour. Posted on 9 Apr
D-Zero Traveller Series at Dalgety Bay
Insufficient beer leads to rounding the windward mark first A couple of months ago I made a decision to do the Dalgety Bay Regatta on the 28th and 29th September, turning this trip in to a mini holiday. Posted on 8 Oct 2024
D-Zeros at Grafham
Mandy Horton stays upright to emerge victorious Fifteen D-Zeros entered the Open Meeting hosted at Grafham on Sunday 29th September 2024. Ultimately, with the forecast showing a degree of danger of very strong breeze, twelve boats took part with five visitors joining the Grafham-based boats. Posted on 1 Oct 2024
D-Zero Open at Chase
A highly competitive six-race series The Chase Sailing Club hosted the D-Zero Open meeting over the weekend of the 14th and 15th of September 2024, drawing seven entries for a highly competitive six-race series. Posted on 15 Sep 2024
Chase SC to host Lightning National Championships
Alongside D-Zero open meeting in September On the weekend of September 14th and 15th 2024, The Chase Sailing Club will become a bustling hub of competitive sailing as it hosts the Lightning National Championships and Devoti D-Zero Sailing Open. Posted on 2 Aug 2024