RS800s at the Rooster RS Summer Championship at Parkstone Yacht Club

RS800 Rooster RS Summer Championship © David Harding / www.sailingscenes.com

RS800 Rooster RS Summer Championship © David Harding / www.sailingscenes.com

RS800 Rooster RS Summer Championship © David Harding / www.sailingscenes.com

It seems that nothing changes. Apparently you can go through a two year RS800 hiatus by getting married, moving all about the world, dabbling in the painful experience of Laser sailing in Australia, eating a whole fried guinea pig, 24 haircuts, going through an early mid-life crisis, getting a selfie with Alan Shearer and you will still finish third at RS events and have to write the report.

With a painfully light May most teams were praying to be able to finally straighten their legs. There has been so much bendy bendy squashed up in the bottom of the boat castration that I'd almost ditched the harness in an impotent rage. In all seriousness I don't think I've flat wired since 2015. Such has been the extremity of the calm we've even gone out and bought some blow up things that you stand up on and paddle about on for a highly INFLATED price (I'm here all day). Looking at the forecast the prayers seemed to go unheeded and the paddle boards were starting to look like a solid investment...

However, Saturday sun came and it gave us sea breeze. It didn't blow up into epic proportions by any means, but it did enough to warrant us choosing skiff sailing over the "horrible looking" RS200s (direct quote: Fiona Hampshire AKA Amateur Sailor of the Year, so she knows what she's talking about). To be fair though, with the long commute out and back from the bay, you can see the plus side of lazily hanging about on strings as opposed to grinding your way home slowly only to find out that the showers are now cold as the RS800s have been soaking themselves in piping hot water for hours.

Can I just take a moment to say that the new Parkstone club house is fantastic. Best bar in Poole. They do have a strange sandwich/crisp pricing policy that seemed to perplex team Tom Morris and Guy Fillmore who are still looking for guidance if anyone can provide confirmed details. I can imagine Guy is still there, pondering.

RS800 Rooster RS Summer Championship - photo © David Harding / www.sailingscenes.com

I should probably stop waffling and talk about the sailing. So Peter Saxton made the decision to run four races on Saturday due to the poor Sunday forecast. This turned out to be a great decision.

Race one, as it was for race two, race three and race four was sign, sealed and delivered by team Tim Gratton (whose job is making fridges more aerodynamic - not sure if this is his real job or if he was having a sly dig at RS800s?) and Fiona Hampshire (Amateur Sailor of the Year and RS200 sceptic). They were that bit faster, smarter and smoother than everyone else and looked comfortable across their four bullets. It looked like Tom and Guy would give them a bit of a run for their money but they were forced in after two races due to mechanical failure - or more likely to go back and ask for some change after they found out that I got a pack of three sandwiches for only £5.

Ralph and Sophie Singleton (who are having an absolutely cracking season by the way) were also sailing fast and pushed Tim and Fiona hard. With their newly-gripped boat the Singletons' sure-footedly (apologies) took second overall. Third ended up being tied on points between team me me me and Hannah, and Dan Goodman and a new-look Debbie called Rory Hunter. We took third by the virtue that my fate is inextricably linked to the role of report writer. It was great racing though and with the short two lap heats everyone was in the mix and took turns at popping up within the leading assemblage (thanks synonym finder). Team Chloe Martin and Suzy Russell in particular looked sharp and quick picking up a couple of fourth placed finishes.

Onto Sunday and everyone knows the result already: 6-1. Yes we absolutely smashed the footballing giant of Panama. Unbelievable scenes. ENGERLAND ENGERLAND ENGERLAND!! WE ARE GOING TO WIN THE WORLD CUP. Never doubted it. THREE LIONS ON A SHIRT and all that.

People who didn't like the football generally sat around and admired the big fat fish in the marina wondering if they were worth a tickle.

The prize giving was a pleasant affair with small hand painted and aesthetically pleasing bowls for winners. In terms of sizing I'd say excellent for one scoop of ice cream or pistachio shell discards. The bowl you never thought you needed until now. There was also another splurge of Rooster neck gaiters released into the wild causing hyperinflation in the neck gaiter market and mass hysteria.

Many many thank yous to everyone who helped to run the event. It was brilliant. Get your National entries in NOW.

Photos by David Harding of Sailing Scenes and available to purchase from his full gallery: www.sailingscenes.co.uk

Overall Results:

RS800 Rooster RS Summer Championship - photo © David Harding / www.sailingscenes.com