Typhoon Frensham Frenzy

The alleged 6-12 mph breeze for the Frensham Frenzy © Gary Ferguson

Luke Anstey wins the Typhoon Frensham Frenzy © Rob Anstey

Film-maker Woody Allen once defined a stock-broker as someone who invests your money for you until it is all gone. It's time we redefined weather-forecasters in the same vein, their current performance level being about as close to ideal as Woody's broker.

Five days before the 2017 Typhoon sponsored Frensham Frenzy Pursuit, the weather sites were suggesting the key requirement would be a max-ing out of the safety boat complement. The RS300s even started a dialogue about rescheduling their Winter Champs, so wild were the predictions.

Hmm. Come the revolution, I'd advise weather-forecasters to get straight into hiding, because both the Race Officer's and Event Organiser's Unions will want you up against the wall before even the bankers, politicians and PPI spammers.

To be fair, they did get the bit about rain broadly right, but who cares about that? Where was the wind, that perfectly sailable 6-12 mph we were being promised? Nowhere near Frensham, where it was supposed to be. We know this because, diligently, Race Officer Andy Shorrock searched absolutely everywhere for it, without a hint of success.

Patience, allegedly, being a virtue, lunch was moved forward, so we'd be ready when the promised breeze arrived. Lo, time to go. Boats were launched. Spinnakers filled on the way to the start. The forecast breeze seemed on its way. Can you have a false dawn at 13:45 hours? That wind was just a tease; our Frenzy deflated to a driftathon.

Nevertheless, Megan Ferguson/Finlay Lomas-Clarke in their Cadet and Luke Anstey in a Tera Pro started well, getting past the Tera Sports and benefiting from clear wind (or something). By the time the bulk of the Pursuit fleet kicked off, the promise of wind was just that, a (broken) promise. A minute's start translated into not much distance.

Weirdly, this made for interesting racing, with keeping-still being the order of the day. Mid-race, Luke and John Townsley's Solo found personal zephyrs to escape Megan and the bunch respectively. John might even have been able to see Luke in the distance had he had the Hubble Telescope to hand.

Meantime, back in the bunch it was all very civilised, particularly at marks; when it takes what seemed like a fortnight to move from the 3 lengths point to actually rounding, it's not like anything should be a surprise. Who knew?

With about 15 minutes to go, there was a definite rippling of the water, yay. A bit of proper wind, a proper beat too, played for and won by Mr Shorrock. On the next leg, your correspondent's spinnaker would even fill, having remained stowed for most of the race, Michael McNamara's definition of an airbrake having been in play. John T made the most of it to pass Megan just before the finish was signalled, but it was Luke Anstey who took the glory, with a near-leg lead; the first youth ever to win the Frensham Frenzy. This lad is clearly going to be a proper nuisance.

Behind Luke, John and Megan/Finlay, Ben Rolfe and Peter Barton in their Aero9s got a bit (no-harm-done) frenetic for the final two minutes and had some fun fighting each-other for fourth, with Ben keeping Mr B behind him. Your correspondent Clive Eplett's RS100 spinney provided a kick of power to drag him to sixth with Bryan Taylor next in another Solo.

The Frensham Frenzy is scheduled as two pursuit races. The fleet, and Race Officer, had other ideas. At last, as each boat was passed by the moving finish-line, a pent-up frenzy truly erupted, of long held back rocking, pumping and all kinds of groovy propulsion techniques, towards the shore. The fleet had decided one race was enough, that the Frensham Tea was already earned and due, even before Andy could break out the flags and hooter to can it officially for the day.

Along with that first seven, other prizes went to Luke as first youth, John Townsley as first grand-master, Peter Barton, first master. Rob Ahlheid won Most Bizarre Moment when he decided a second capsize and swim, 90 secs after settling down from his first, was a good idea. A Typhoon Buoyancy Aid seemed a fitting award. The most travelled prize went to Mark Harrison, having come both across the sea and from the 1950s, aka the Isle of Wight.

Next year's Frenzy will again take place on the first Sunday after the Dinghy Show. Plans are already in place to acquire many hovercraft drive-fans, with a contingency fleet of Chinook helicopters on standby. That should make the wind blow. Please.

Overall Results: