Church Bells

   Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.  When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.  "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.  It was just the right rhythm.  Nice and slow and even.  Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along.

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Phat Bouy Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Posting king Joined: 15 Jun 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 168	Post Options Post Reply Quote Phat Bouy Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Church Bells Posted: 04 Jul 06 at 2:29am
	Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along.
	Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

MRJP BUZZ 585 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 05 Mar 06 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1496	Post Options Post Reply Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 04 Jul 06 at 7:18am
	hehehehehe
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BBSCFaithfull Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 06 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1251	Post Options Post Reply Quote BBSCFaithfull Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 04 Jul 06 at 10:22am
	That is a good 1!
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les5269 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 11 Oct 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1530	Post Options Post Reply Quote les5269 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 04 Jul 06 at 7:50pm
	funny
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Javelin53 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Groupie Joined: 13 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 60	Post Options Post Reply Quote Javelin53 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 04 Jul 06 at 8:06pm
	legend
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Soggy Doggie Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Newbie Joined: 06 Jul 06 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 24	Post Options Post Reply Quote Soggy Doggie Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 27 Jul 06 at 7:52pm
	The old ones are the best. Thanks for reminding us of this one, Phat Buoy. Here's another. A Roman Catholic priest was disturbed to note that someone in his presbytery had been at his sherry bottle. There was nobody else living there but himself and his housekeeper, whom he suspected of taking a swig. So to teach her a lesson, he peeved into the bottle, to top it up. The next day, he noticed the level had dropped again. So he peeved into it a second time. Surely she would detect the sherry was off, he thought. But next morning, the sherry had gone down yet again. Once more, he peeved into the bottle. This went on for a week. He finally realised this couldn't be allowed to continue. The priest therefore resolved to confront the housekeeper for an explanation. He called her into his study and explained that to steal is a venial sin. When she nodded in agreement, the priest asked her if she had been drinking his sherry. "Oh no Father", she replied. "Have you not noticed I have been pouring a little into your soup each night?"
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jpbuzz591 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 24 May 05 Location: England Online Status: Offline Posts: 793	Post Options Post Reply Quote jpbuzz591 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 27 Jul 06 at 9:05pm
	that is disgusting but hilarious
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