The best Pizza ever

The hot and spicy creation from Asda on a stone bake base, with extra roasted onions. It is called family size, but is only really big enough for one sailor.  It costs £2-98.

Now for the clever bit. When you approach the counter to have this cullinary delight built, wait until the fat bird with NO WEDDING RING is ready to serve you. Being a biffa she will automatically put on loads of extra toppings.  She is not married so has no idea of how to please a man.  She still thinks that the way to a mans heart is through his stomach ( little does she know she is aiming a bit too high), and since you have just smiled at her she thinks you care, and piles on more toppings.

The best lager to drink with it is what ever one is on offer at the time.

Oh and even though you are in Asda, when that yummy mummy in front of you at the checkout sticks her change into the back pocket of her too tight jeans, resist the urge to give it a pat.

Sinuessa in Woking, Surrey (although I think they've changed hands now).

Um...pizza, pizza...(I won't get to finish this post I'm off dreaming of pizzary delights )!!

Best pizza ever would have to be a pepperoni one I had at my mates house - she was leaving for aussie the next day so kinda sad, but it was the first pizza I ever liked!! I haven't looked back since...

 

But my pizza is, while being truely fair, due to the patented equal cheese distribution system, also the most exciting, because the crust (which is the bit we all enjoy the most) is asymetrical, making it easier for a novice chew, and to then launch after too many beers.

I'd just like to make it clear, to anyone who is trying to use this forum to negatively represent our one design of pizza, that if  you have any commercial interest in slateing us, then please mention it, as we feel negative marketing is the most disgusting plague to hit the formerly reputable and well respected British marketing industry.