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Getting to be the first post on the 100th page. Not once, but twice! Damn you guys are slack!

Originally posted by Strawberry Getting to be the first post on the 100th page. Not once, but twice! Damn you guys are slack!

Anybody else thinking Stu's "Really should get out more" star rating should be changed to "Sorry I wear an anorack all day because I'm allergic to sunlight" ?

Originally posted by 49erGBR735HSC Originally posted by Strawberry Getting to be the first post on the 100th page. Not once, but twice! Damn you guys are slack! Anybody else thinking Stu's "Really should get out more" star rating should be changed to "Sorry I wear an anorack all day because I'm allergic to sunlight" ?

Pot calling the kettle black! Mr. 1663 Posts! I'm sure I'm not gonna be the first to 2000 posts!

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young
Sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels
just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene Edwards
was also instructed not to look at Fr. John's nakedness if she
could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the
Saturday nightbath had gone.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old
nun.

"Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash
him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between
his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now," said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to
Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me
and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then
Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that so?" said the old nun matter-of-factly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Fr. John said the pathway to
salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon
swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being
saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told me it was
Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"

One dark night an Englishman and an Irishman are driving head on, on a twisty road. Both are driving too fast and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed.

In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. The Englishman goes to the boot and fetches a bottle of 12 year old whisky. He hands the bottle to the Irishman, whom exclaims, "may the Irish and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony!" The Irishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the whisky down.


Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he hands the bottle to the Englishman, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here!