New Posts New Posts RSS Feed: best funny emails
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login

best funny emails
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 8182838485 195>
Author
  Share Topic Share Topic  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Prince Buster View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1146 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Prince Buster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 9:21pm
no - not a word of it

well....i didnt actually go to sleep - just resting!


Edited by Prince Buster
international moth - "what what?"
Back to Top
chiaravel View Drop Down
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 06
Location: Argentina
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6 		Post Options Post Options   Quote chiaravel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Apr 06 at 12:03am

Great Humor Guys...

I hope  that Quantas don't broke like PANAM Airlines..

Jajaja.

Regards
You need Luxury Yachts ?
You need Luxury Cars ?
You need Luxury TravelS ?
The best Sites
Back to Top
jpbuzz591 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 24 May 05
Location: England
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 793 		Post Options Post Options   Quote jpbuzz591 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 06 at 9:23pm
A man was stopped yesterday before boarding a plane. He was carrying a ruler, protractor and calculator. He was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Jp Indoe
Contender 518
Buzz591
Chew Valley Sailing club
Bristol
Back to Top
MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 05 Mar 06
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 06 at 10:40pm
i am loving it - beware i will be telling everyone within a 100 mile range of that joke
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

Back to Top
Black no sugar View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 04 Dec 04
Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 06 at 4:27pm
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Oklahoma. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual "dumb blonde" jokes.

A blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women in that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person.
Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination
against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor."

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells: "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little arse sitting on your knee!"
Lancing SC
Back to Top
Prince Buster View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1146 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Prince Buster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 06 at 4:46pm
HAHAHAHA - thats a good one! so was the maths one lol!
international moth - "what what?"
Back to Top
jpbuzz591 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 24 May 05
Location: England
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 793 		Post Options Post Options   Quote jpbuzz591 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 06 at 9:16pm
heard the ventiloquist one before but still makes me chuckle.
Jp Indoe
Contender 518
Buzz591
Chew Valley Sailing club
Bristol
Back to Top
MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 05 Mar 06
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 06 at 10:16am

i love it and also the ventriliquist one too

 
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

Back to Top
Black no sugar View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 04 Dec 04
Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 06 at 1:47pm

Why we have children:


After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"


"Don't what?" Adam replied.


"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.


"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"


" No Way!"



"Yes way!"



"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.



"Why?"


"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.



"Uh huh," Adam replied.



"Then why did you?" said the Father.


"I dunno," said Eve.



"She started it!" Adam said


"Did not!"



"Did too!"


"DID NOT!"



Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.


BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

---------------------------------------------

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.



2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.



3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.



4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.



5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.



6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


---------------------------------------------

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.



AND FINALLY:



IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:



" TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Lancing SC
Back to Top
timnoyce View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 05 Aug 04
Location: Hampshire
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1991 		Post Options Post Options   Quote timnoyce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 06 at 1:52pm
very good BNS! I'll add that to the list of reasons why its not a good idea to settle down!
BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 8182838485 195>

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Bulletin Board Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 9.665y
Copyright ©2001-2010 Web Wiz
Change your personal settings, or read our privacy policy