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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 04 Jan 07 at 6:05pm
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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The Moo View Drop Down
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Posts: 809 		Post Options Post Options   Quote The Moo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jan 07 at 5:13pm
Dear Technical Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowing down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

Dear Desperate

First keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: - C:/I-THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember though, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly. CAUTION: Whatever you do not install Mother in Law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory or performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck.

Signed: Technical Support
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les5269 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1530 		Post Options Post Options   Quote les5269 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Dec 06 at 9:21pm

Near sound for this one

Merry Christmas everyone

http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf
49er 531 & 5000 5025 and a mirror(now gone to mirror heaven)!

Grafham water Sailing Club The greatest inland sailing in the country
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mike ellis View Drop Down
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Posts: 2339 		Post Options Post Options   Quote mike ellis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Dec 06 at 10:33pm
600 732, will call it Sticks and Stones when i get round to it.
Also International 14, 1318
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Villan View Drop Down
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Posts: 1768 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Villan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Dec 06 at 10:08pm
Not sure if this has been posted before, and I cant be bothered to read back 118 pages!!

----

A young man is walking down the street, when he sees a Funeral procession coming the other way.

He stops, and watches as a hearse goes past, with another one about 50 yards behind it.

As he stands there, he notices there is a solitary gentleman, dressed all in black, walking a pitbull behind the hearses, with a queue of other men in single file behind him.

As this is the strangest funeral he has seen, he walks up to the gentleman with the dog, and quietly and politely asks:

"I'm not trying to be rude, but this is the strangest funeral I have seen. What happened?"

The gentleman replies:

"Well, my wife was out walking the dog, when something spooked it, and it attacked her."

"So she is in the first coffin? Who is in the second one?" comes the reply.

"Yes, My wife is in the first coffin. My Mother-In-Law jumped in to try and help my wife, but the dog turned on her as well. She is in the second coffin"

"Oh Dear" says the young man. "Listen, There wouldn't be any chance I could borrow that dog would there?"

To which the gentleman replied:




"Join the queue"


Edited by Villan
Vareo - 149 "Secrets"
TandyUK Servers
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The Moo View Drop Down
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Posts: 809 		Post Options Post Options   Quote The Moo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 06 at 6:18pm
We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling ladies underwear
Oh so drastic, No elastic
Only tuppence a pair....

Oooohhhhh bra of wonder,
bra so tight
let me boost my tits tonight,
upward going, overflowing
give the men an awful fright!
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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Dec 06 at 7:47pm
still very funny tho
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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mike ellis View Drop Down
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Posts: 2339 		Post Options Post Options   Quote mike ellis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Dec 06 at 3:09pm
oh dear oh dear, how did he go from so good to so appaulingly bad in one post?
600 732, will call it Sticks and Stones when i get round to it.
Also International 14, 1318
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radixon View Drop Down
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Posts: 2407 		Post Options Post Options   Quote radixon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Dec 06 at 2:29pm
1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of  them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana,  press the hash key..."
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." 
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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Dec 06 at 9:44am
Quality
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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