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best funny emails |
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timnoyce 
Really should get out more 
Joined: 05 Aug 04 Location: Hampshire Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991 |
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 Topic: best funny emailsPosted: 26 Apr 06 at 2:26pm |
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I love the fact that by reading the dialogue out loud it is possible to replicate an aussie to a real life level. In fact... if they wrote me a neighbours script in that same manner, I would blend in seamlessly!
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BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb |
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Black no sugar
Really should get out more
Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 9:32am |
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Fourteen things you can do at Asda while your wife is taking her time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Houseware to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in Houseware"... and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located. 11.Wander around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. 12. Hide in a clothing rack .. . . and when people browse through, say: PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least:
14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... Then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!" |
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Black no sugar
Really should get out more
Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 10:14am |
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Pierre
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Joined: 15 Mar 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1532 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 10:14am |
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Quote" 12. Hide in a clothing rack.... and when people browse through, say PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!" When I was a young whipper snapper, a chum and I were thrown out of Bentalls in Kingston for doing the very same thing in their carpet department. My mother was horrified by my behaviour ....... still is come to think about it. |
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Isis
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Joined: 01 Sep 05 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2753 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 3:54pm |
Never quite as ammusing as you'd expect unfortunately  |
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Isis
Really should get out more
Joined: 01 Sep 05 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2753 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 4:18pm |
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Prince Buster
Really should get out more
Joined: 15 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1146 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 5:00pm |
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one day.........cats WILL learn how to talk. Im currenty teaching
my cat to walk on two legs but have a funny feeling it would be a lot
easier if i dressed him up in a waistcoat and top hat!
bns....classic! I've already tried the fitting room one, the alarm clocks, the clothes racks before.....and i once got chucked out for falling asleep in one of the display beds at waitrose  |
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international moth - "what what?"
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timnoyce
Really should get out more
Joined: 05 Aug 04 Location: Hampshire Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 6:44pm |
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They sell beds at Waitrose?! What is the world coming to?!
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BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb |
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Prince Buster
Really should get out more
Joined: 15 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1146 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 7:47pm |
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yep.....they had a whole section devoted to them the other week and i
felt a bit tired so jumped into one for a snooze............only to be
rudely awakened by some bloke telling me to stop taking the pi$$ and
get outta the shop..........the cheek of it!!!!!
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international moth - "what what?"
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timnoyce
Really should get out more
Joined: 05 Aug 04 Location: Hampshire Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991 |
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Posted: 27 Apr 06 at 8:05pm |
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Good story.... are you sure you didn't just make it up?
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BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb |
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