best funny emails


   After every Quantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which
>>conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
>the
>>flight that need repair or correction.
>>The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot
>>completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics
>>read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial
>>action was taken, so the pilot on the next flight of that plane can review
>>the form before taking off.
>>
>>Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
>>
>>Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses.....
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >(Quantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had an accident.)
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Something loose in cockpit.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Live bugs on back-order.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Evidence removed.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: That's what they're there for.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: IFF inoperative.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Suspect you're right.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Number 3 engine missing.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Aircraft handles funny.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Target radar hums.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >P: Mouse in cockpit.
>>>> > > > >
>>>> > > > >S: Cat installed


Edited by hurricane

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hurricane Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 15 Mar 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1047	Post Options Post Reply Quote hurricane Report Post Quote Reply Topic: best funny emails Posted: 07 Feb 05 at 6:49pm
	After every Quantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which >>conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during >the >>flight that need repair or correction. >>The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot >>completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics >>read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial >>action was taken, so the pilot on the next flight of that plane can review >>the form before taking off. >> >>Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. >> >>Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses..... >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >(Quantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had an accident.) >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Something loose in cockpit. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Something tightened in cockpit. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Dead bugs on windshield. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Live bugs on back-order. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Evidence removed. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: DME volume set to more believable level. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: That's what they're there for. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: IFF inoperative. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Suspected crack in windshield. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Suspect you're right. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Number 3 engine missing. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Aircraft handles funny. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Target radar hums. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >P: Mouse in cockpit. >>>> > > > > >>>> > > > >S: Cat installed Edited by hurricane

hurricane Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 15 Mar 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1047	Post Options Post Reply Quote hurricane Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 07 Feb 05 at 6:48pm
	there are many funny emails going about and well i think the best ones could be shared on here. try and keep them tastefull or im sure mark will have to be removing them