best funny emails

No blonde jokes... oooh are you asking for it!

Three blondes on a desert island.

1st Blonde " Ooh I wish I knew how to get off this Island. I'm just not brainy enough"

2nd B " Yeah"

3rd B "lovely"

Then, whilst walking around the beach, they find a lamp (genie type)

1st B "Ooh look, a lamp"

2nd B "yeah"

3rd B "lovely"

So of course, they rub the lamp to make it all shiny, and before you can say, oh, it's happened before I said it, a genie appears.

1st B "ooh look, a genie"

2nd B "yeah"

3rd B ( I think you can guess by now)

So, they are duly granted three wishes.

The next half hour is spent with thee genie explaining it's one wish each.

The first wishes to be clever enough to get off the island.

BOOM - She's a redhead, she hollws out a log and paddles off.

The second wants to be even cleverer

BOOM - She's a brunette, she builds a catamaran and sails off even quicker.

The third wants to cleverer still

BOOM -

She turns into a man and walks off over the bridge.

Is there a secret you're not telling us?? So I presume it is proper coffee that you drink not lovely english tea?

Anyway, can't do french jokes - the missus is half french. (and no I won't tell you which half...)

Bit dodgy this one...

Two palestinian grandfathers are sitting on a bench enjoying the sunshine and showing each other photos of their grandchildren.

First one says - this is my eldest grandson, he became a martyr two years ago at the age of 19.

The other man nods knowingly.

Then the first guy brings out another photo and says - this is my second grandson.  He became a martyr last week.

Second guy answers - Ahh, they blow up so fast these days...

Sorry.

Well, that one was quite tame compared to some others - without sinking too low!!

I'll post them later

PS. After the watershed!!