Dear Technical Support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowing down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

Dear Desperate

First keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: - C:/I-THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember though, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly. CAUTION: Whatever you do not install Mother in Law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory or performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck.

Signed: Technical Support

Originally posted by 422797 Congratulations to all those born in the 80s 90s and more recently. Due to leaps forward in technology over the last 50 years you are now brighter, better educated, cleaner, fitter, wiser and generally more efficient than those who came before you. You are human 2.0 if you will. The major step forward by human 2.0 is the ability to look forward. You understand that which you achieve is not for the direct benefit of you, but it is for the benefit of your planet and your children. When you are old you will smile at the world around you and see all that you have done that is good. Human 1.0 was unable to do this. Human 1.0 will look around and see all they did not have. Human 1.0 cannot comprehend the new improved world it lives in so Human 1.0 complains and tries to prevent Human 2.0 from enjoying the new better world. Human 1.0 is the past, old model. Human 2.0 is the happy bright future. Good luck and again congratulations!

A lesser know fault with Human 2.0 is a software glitch with foward looking Ver 1.0.  Foward Looking version 1.0 only allows the operating program (human 2.0) to see what it wants to see.  For example; after using Foward Looking Ver 1.0 and claiming to be more enviromentally friendly than Human 1.0 it then expects to go on 3 foreign holidays a year and buys all its goods as cheaply as possible which have been produced in the country with the fastest growing economy and contribution both to  CO2 and particulate pollution in the world.  They forget that the biggest contribution to CO2 emissions in the UK is power generation to run their I-pods and X boxes not to power  SUVs.  The problem is most obvious whern the error message 'holier than thou' pop up box appears.  Unfortunatly the lack of the Common sense 2.1 add on in the basic operation system prevents education patch 3.0 properly installing and simply triggers a system crash which sees human 2.0 go into sulk mode.  

I'm a Safety Officer

for the english teachers.

Edited by foaminatthedeck

im cadet captain