best funny emails

A Mum had three virgin daughters. They were all getting married, and mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. She made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex was going.

The first daughter sent a card from her honeymoon in Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". At first mum was puzzled, but she went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent her card from Vermont a week after the wedding. The card said only: "Benson & Hedges". Mum went to the drawer where her husband kept his cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra long. King Size". Again mum was slightly embarrassed, but she was happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Mum started to get really worried. Then after a month, the card finally arrived, written on it with shaky hand writing were the words "British Airways".

Mum took out her latest Harpers Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mum fainted ....

thats truly nothing but brilliance lollollol

NEW WORDS FOR 2007     
 
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking  bollocks. 

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a  deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. 
 
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,  craps on everything, and then leaves. 
 
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What  yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops  working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business". 
 
SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and Desperate.  
 
GOING FOR A Mcsh*t. Entering a fast food restaurant with no Intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If   challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that  you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a Mcsh*t with Lies. 
 
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still  has a 'black box'. 
 
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home  after a booze cruise at 3am. 
 
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe Arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to  remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come  from. 
 
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.  

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra,  i.e.  extremely  impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught  in there worth seeing. 
 
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you Go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!". 
 
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night While you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all  the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners When you come back in. 
 
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday Morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with,  and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead. 
 
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so  she looks like she's got four buttocks 
 
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by  young women

There is one quite similar to the first one of those.

Breasticulating, Meaning waving your arms about like a tit.

I hope she's very gratefull and says thank you!