best funny emails

CHINESE YEAR OF THE CHICKEN (2007) - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia    . CHINESE YEAR OF THE HORSE (2008) - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing    CHINESE YEAR OF THE PIG (2009) - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs/humans around the globe  .. CHINESE YEAR OF THE COCK (2010) - what could possibly go wrong..

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'

Her mum replies 'No, because she is in heat.'

'What does that mean?' asked the child.

'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'

He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'


The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..

Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'


The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'








Edited by The Moo

Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer. She married again, and her & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy again, remarried and this time, her & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,

"Lord, they are finally together."

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

Margaret replied:...."I think he means her "legs", Ethel...."

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to
ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of
money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide
child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how
he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told
her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the
back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The

wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white,

and fainted. On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce'

That is truly exceptional. What a great definition