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best funny emails |
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laser47 
Far too distracted from work 
Joined: 11 Feb 06 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 349 |
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 Topic: best funny emailsPosted: 01 Mar 06 at 3:36pm |
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hah its photographic proof of what we all know; footballers are jessies not sailors i though rooney was more into the old granny types |
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lozza
Far too distracted from work
Joined: 23 Sep 04 Online Status: Offline Posts: 262 |
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Posted: 01 Mar 06 at 7:59pm |
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A man and a woman who are just friends, decide to go to london to take in a show.
they head down From Glasgow on the sleeper train. She is on the top bunk and he is on the bottom. An hour after going to bed, she leans down and says, "I am absolutely freezing, do you think you could see a porter and get me an extra blanket" He looks up and says Look, seeing as we are in the middle of nowhere, and no-one will ever find out, do you want to, and just for tonight, pretend we are man and wife" she thinks about it, smiles and softly whispers "Yes ok, lets" "Good " says the man. "Get yer ain f**king blanket ya whinging cow" |
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Life's a reach, then you gybe
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jeffers
Really should get out more 
Joined: 29 Mar 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 3048 |
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Posted: 03 Mar 06 at 12:21pm |
Superb...... |
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Paul
---------------------- D-Zero GBR 74 |
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Phat Bouy
Posting king 
Joined: 15 Jun 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 168 |
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Posted: 03 Mar 06 at 12:34pm |
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The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need ... a new suit. That’ll make me feel a little better." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." New suit -- $400 New shirt -- $36 New underwear -- $6 Second Opinion -- PRICELESS |
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Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho
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ssailor
Far too distracted from work
Joined: 11 Oct 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 430 |
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Posted: 06 Mar 06 at 4:47pm |
 Pricelessly funny lol anyone ever seen the clip of a bloke leaning on the intercom outside his dates house?
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Any one in need of quality carbon fibre work (tillers etc) at decent prices!
Int 14 Gbr 1244 'Nucking Futs' The New Port rule!!. |
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Harry44981!
Really should get out more
Joined: 26 Aug 04 Online Status: Offline Posts: 736 |
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Posted: 06 Mar 06 at 6:00pm |
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stuarthop
Really should get out more
Joined: 22 Dec 04 Location: Nottingham Online Status: Offline Posts: 1040 |
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Posted: 06 Mar 06 at 11:40pm |
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Yes that clip was very funny Try this for the above clip http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=183 |
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Black no sugar
Really should get out more
Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941 |
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Posted: 09 Mar 06 at 10:28am |
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Don't you love those bunnies? I don't need to see the film now, thanks turnturtle One of their first was Jaws, wasn't it? A classic in its own right |
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Blobby
Really should get out more
Joined: 07 May 04 Location: Australia Online Status: Offline Posts: 779 |
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Posted: 09 Mar 06 at 1:49pm |
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Master & COmmander - pass the salt please. |
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Contender443
Really should get out more
Joined: 01 Oct 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1211 |
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Posted: 11 Mar 06 at 8:12am |
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Edited by Contender443 |
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Bonnie Lass Contender 1764
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These are bound to offend someone - so here goes..
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