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My A-Z of small sailboats

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iGRF View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote iGRF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: My A-Z of small sailboats
    Posted: 23 May 13 at 11:15am
Found this kicking around an old desktop clutter file, I can't believe how insightful I've become
Good one for newcomers don't you think?

A-Z of small sailboats.

A is for Alto Assymmetric and amazing
B is for boat and bad,
     i Bad boats will fall over if you leave them whilst you ditch your trailer.
     ii Bad boats are generally made of wood.
     iii Bad boats begin with either the letter S or initials like GP.
     iv Bad boats have two hulls and are often likened to Jetskis.
     v Bad boats have foils that do not retract.
C is for CAT see above reference Bad
D is for Dinghy, nobody admits to owning one, it should always be referred to as a boat or sailboat, old people and children use dinghies
E is for Enterprise, enterprise is good, calling a boat Enterprise unless prefixed by the words 'Spirit of Free' is bad, Enterprise the dingy see above ref dinghy and Bad Boat.
F is for Foil, foil is stuff under the Boat that should be shiny and always retract up into the boat if nasty rocks, beach or sandbank things come along, if this doesn't happen see ref Bad Boats.
G is for General Purpose, see above reference Bad Boats
H is for Hiking, Gentlemen do not do this. Boats that require excessive use of this term. see ref above Bad Boats.
J is for Junk a chinese sailboat equivalent of the Olympic Star class.
K is for Kite
L is for Laser a beach toy that damages childrens knees made by a buggy company that damages childrens fingers
M is for Merlin a boat for cheating bandits, old pro's and drunkards.
N is for Nightmare which occurs to Kites
O is for Optimist a device for chid torture
P is for praddle, portmanteau of prat and paddle
Q is for queue which you should never join on the way to a mark
R is for Race, the only time you should sail in a small boat and Rope which gets in the way during the Race.
S is for Sail the bit that makes the boat go nobody understands how or why, all they know is that it should be made bigger and lighter with exotic materials without telling anyone.
T is for Turnturtle, what happens if you sail boats in ref B
U is for Underwater where you go if you don't get out of the boat in T above
V is for V Twin an exercise in design genius spoiled by Bad boat builders.
W is for wigglestick a device that alludes to changing the boat direction but frequently becomes entangled in rope resulting in T.
X is for X1 a boat for the river for people who swear at each other a lot.
Y is for yacht and yachts and yachting a magazine about yachts, yachts are boring.
Z is for zero, what most people know about making a perfect boat.

Edited by iGRF - 23 May 13 at 11:17am
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pondmonkey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote pondmonkey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 13 at 11:19am
very good  LOL


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Pierre View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Pierre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 13 at 12:59pm
and consistent ..  Smile
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