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-nyx- View Drop Down
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Joined: 13 Apr 05
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Posts: 5 		Post Options Post Options   Quote -nyx- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 13 Apr 05 at 11:07pm

i know its been while since the ellen finasco but this is still good:

Copy of e-mail received by B&Q customer services:
>
> > > Dear Sir/Madam
> > >
> > > My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th
> > > November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back 72
> > > days later.
> > >
> > > Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago
> > > will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?
> > >
> > >
> > > Yours Sincerley
> > >
> > > John Roberts



Edited by -nyx-
make madness a way of life!
-nYx-
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 05 at 12:13am
Originally posted by Black no sugar in the thread 'Well done Ellen'

Originally posted by TornadoSi

COPY OF A LETTER RECEIVED BY B&Q CUSTOMER SERVICES DEPARTMENT


Dear Sir/Madam

My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK
on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world
and arrive back 72 days later.

Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96
days ago will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?

Yours Sincerely

John Roberts

 

Calling all bookies! How many times is THIS mail going to travel around the world??

(twice here on this forum already, and I haven't checked the others yet )

Yipeeeee! The first time it was posted here was the 10th Feb! Are we witnessing another appearance of a two-month self-repeating mail?? (book me a space around the 16th June )
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hydrographer20 View Drop Down
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Posts: 867 		Post Options Post Options   Quote hydrographer20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 05 at 9:39am
yer i did think ive read that mail quite a ew times, then again with a topic with this many pages-  things are bound to turn up at leasttwice eventually
byte me!- GBR 814
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-nyx- View Drop Down
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Posts: 5 		Post Options Post Options   Quote -nyx- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 05 at 9:46pm
ops sorry didnt read all the others just added....there was another one similar to it! well nto rele but....someone had put B&Q on ebay was clever how they worded it all etc... but administrator took it down....only last 1 day! shame rele!
make madness a way of life!
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KnightMare View Drop Down
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Posts: 1682 		Post Options Post Options   Quote KnightMare Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 05 at 10:28pm
yeah I noticed that, The price was a bit high for what it was we all thought.
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 05 at 11:52pm

Originally posted by -nyx-

ops sorry didnt read all the others just added....there was another one similar to it!

Eh, -nYx- don't apologise!

There's bound to be someone who hasn't read that joke and, after all, it's very funny..... (well, I put it there in the first place, I won't say the contrary, will I? ) 

If you go back a few pages in any given thread, you'll see that ideas get recycled A LOT!! Anyone remembers the story of the portable Topper? How many posts suggested melting / shredding and compressing in some sort?? And they went on for paaaaaaaaaaaaaages!

So, -nYx-, keep the jokes coming.
(Errr, you might want to avoid Essex girls jokes though... A bit too raw for some... )
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Mike278 View Drop Down
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Posts: 256 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Mike278 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 05 at 1:49am

Sports Quotes

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own Mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (that is beautiful)

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 05 at 1:54am
Some great lines there, Mike!  Thnx!
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Phil eltringham View Drop Down
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Posts: 1105 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Phil eltringham Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 05 at 10:26am
Did anyone hear Graham Sounes' comment about 'pulling punches' with regards to last nights match in Lisbon?  you can't write stuff like that!!
FLAT IS FAST!
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hydrographer20 View Drop Down
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Posts: 867 		Post Options Post Options   Quote hydrographer20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 05 at 4:07pm
match???? nooooo are you refering to a football related incident on a sailing forum-  for shame on you!
byte me!- GBR 814
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