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KnightMare 
Really should get out more 
Joined: 08 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1682 |
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 Topic: best funny emailsPosted: 15 Mar 05 at 12:12pm |
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Lol yeah good idea............. MUM..........
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carshalton fc
Really should get out more
Joined: 26 Jan 05 Location: England Online Status: Offline Posts: 2337 |
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Posted: 15 Mar 05 at 2:40pm |
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yer when i get my 18 footer i will get my mum to iron the spini on that!!
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International 14 1503
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Blobby
Really should get out more
Joined: 07 May 04 Location: Australia Online Status: Offline Posts: 779 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 12:38am |
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Back on topic this mornings offering is entitled WOMEN... > FINE > > This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. > > FIVE MINUTES > > If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. > > NOTHING > > This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should b! e on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine" > > GO AHEAD > > This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it. > > LOUD SIGH > > This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" > > THAT'S OKAY > > This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your! mistake. > > T HANKS > > A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Iwill now duck and run away quickly! |
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Black no sugar
Really should get out more
Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 1:01am |
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Just you wait, Blobby, just you wait........ |
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Black no sugar
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Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 1:09am |
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Right... I've run out of engineers' jokes, but here are a few home truths: 24 truths of life
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to synagogue doesn't make you a Jew any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it! 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a Jaffa cake in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. Edited by Black no sugar |
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hydrographer20
Really should get out more
Joined: 11 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 867 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 7:28am |
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omg!!bns
 that is brilliant and yet so true! and the jaffa cake thing did u think of that yourself or steal it from somewhere coz alot of thinkinig look to have gone into those
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byte me!- GBR 814
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KnightMare
Really should get out more
Joined: 08 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1682 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 2:43pm |
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LMAO thats quite true and funny.
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hydrographer20
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Joined: 11 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 867 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 3:42pm |
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how does sh manage to come up with so many true and yet funny posts for this section??v
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byte me!- GBR 814
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Spot192
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Joined: 28 Nov 04 Location: Germany Online Status: Offline Posts: 833 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 3:54pm |
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that´s her experience i think! it´s absolutley funny! the one i like most is the 16th with the jaffa cakes of course!
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carshalton fc
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Joined: 26 Jan 05 Location: England Online Status: Offline Posts: 2337 |
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Posted: 23 Mar 05 at 3:56pm |
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that is a realy good post bns!
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International 14 1503
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