best funny emails

A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.
The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot...
‘Could you give me some tips?' he asked.
The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'
Will that make me a better gunfighter?'
'Sure will '
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?'
'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - that’ll give you a smoother draw'
Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.
'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'
The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to his first year medical students.

Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.    

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your ar**hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?' 

 

 

 

 

 

She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.'

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom! 

Thanks to wonkothesane of another parish

Edited by bert - 14 Sep 11 at 11:47pm

funniest thread I've come across for some, some, time  clicky

...the "Elvis Dambusters Clock of Tutankamun" is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen