best funny emails

   Yeah u will be able to see that one mike. that is classic i must say.

Thought I would share an email I received a coupl eof days ago. For all the women out there.
1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? 

 A. Shoot him again. 

 2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? 

 A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the noose. 

3. Q. Why do little boys whine? 
 A. Because they're practicing to be men. 
4.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

 A. One - he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around him. 

OR. Three - one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.  

5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? 

 A. Trustworthy. 

6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name? 

A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.  

7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? 

 A.Because not one will stop and ask directions. 

8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? 

 A. To stop the snoring before it starts 
9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? 

 A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. 

10. Q: What is the difference between men and women... 

 A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. 

 A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.  

11. Q: How does a man keep his youth? 

 A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. 

12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? 

 A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" 

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KnightMare Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 08 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1682	Post Options Post Reply Quote KnightMare Report Post Quote Reply Topic: best funny emails Posted: 01 Apr 05 at 10:39am
	Yeah u will be able to see that one mike. that is classic i must say. Thought I would share an email I received a coupl eof days ago. For all the women out there. 1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again. 2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the noose. 3. Q. Why do little boys whine? A. Because they're practicing to be men. 4.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One - he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around him. OR. Three - one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. 5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. 6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name? A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. 7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A.Because not one will stop and ask directions. 8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts 9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. 10. Q: What is the difference between men and women... A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. 11. Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. 12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"


Black no sugar Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941	Post Options Post Reply Quote Black no sugar Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 01 Apr 05 at 8:16am
	Take your time, Mike! It'll come to you, I promise. Everyone sees it after a while. Edited by Black no sugar
	Lancing SC

Mike278 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Far too distracted from work Joined: 09 Mar 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 256	Post Options Post Reply Quote Mike278 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 01 Apr 05 at 1:31am
	to much beer to try and focus on a giraffe, but then again i can never see those pictures when i am sober.
	Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Blobby Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 07 May 04 Location: Australia Online Status: Offline Posts: 779	Post Options Post Reply Quote Blobby Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 01 Apr 05 at 1:17am
	That just made my friday morning!!

Black no sugar Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941	Post Options Post Reply Quote Black no sugar Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 01 Apr 05 at 12:46am
	A mail I received a few months ago. It was an attachment, but I can't attach anything here. Just as well we can't attach on Banter, the bandwidth would skyrocket!!! Anyway, there's a link. Hope it'll work... It's an optical illusion: if you stare at the green patches for long enough, you might be able to distinguish a giraffe. I know I did, eventually... http://www.isabellejackson.co.uk/Giraffe.gif
	Lancing SC

hydrographer20 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 11 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 867	Post Options Post Reply Quote hydrographer20 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 26 Mar 05 at 11:26pm
	oh i allways right clicked on it and pressed show picture or summin . hmm that wasnt the pic i posted anyway , well or ment to
	byte me!- GBR 814

stuarthop Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 22 Dec 04 Location: Nottingham Online Status: Offline Posts: 1040	Post Options Post Reply Quote stuarthop Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 26 Mar 05 at 3:38pm
	just click on it and it takes you to the image


hydrographer20 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 11 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 867	Post Options Post Reply Quote hydrographer20 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 26 Mar 05 at 3:23pm
	hmmm yes well have neva been a computer wiz- not gd with internet stuff lol. (NC )
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Black no sugar Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941	Post Options Post Reply Quote Black no sugar Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 24 Mar 05 at 5:42pm
	Nope, another one that doesn't work! C&P the url, it's easier...
	Lancing SC

hydrographer20 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 11 Feb 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 867	Post Options Post Reply Quote hydrographer20 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 24 Mar 05 at 4:05pm
	hmm i found this on the internet and thought its an intersting way to travel, talk about d.i.y nc
	byte me!- GBR 814