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ChickenTack 
Newbie 
Joined: 10 Sep 08 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 9 |
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 Topic: best funny emailsPosted: 14 Sep 08 at 1:08pm |
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Do you mean 'allegedly metaphors'? Because they are almost all similies |
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Regards,
Will Crews union: beause its hard to be humble when you know you're so great! |
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mike ellis
Really should get out more 
Joined: 30 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 2339 |
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Posted: 14 Sep 08 at 3:03pm |
i thought this one needed a special mention. I haven't laughed this much in ages. |
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600 732, will call it Sticks and Stones when i get round to it.
Also International 14, 1318 |
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The Moo
Really should get out more
Joined: 01 Jun 06 Online Status: Offline Posts: 809 |
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Posted: 23 Sep 08 at 10:12pm |
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An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively 'I would like it infrequently' she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses and leaned over towards her and whispered 'Is that one word or two? |
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Skiffybob
Really should get out more
Joined: 04 Dec 06 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 842 |
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Posted: 04 Oct 08 at 3:21pm |
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A young Aussie went to get a job in Harrods. After a brief interview, the sales manager decided to give the guy a trial for a day to see how he got on. At the end of the day, the Manager asked the Aussie "so, how many sales did you make today?" to which the Aussie replied "Just one". "Oh dear" said the manager, the average here is about 20, so that's not very good. How much was the sale for?" "One hundred and forty six thousand, three hundred and twenty pounds and sixteen pence" came the reply. "Wow" said the manager, "What did you sell him?" "A pack of fishing hooks" said the Aussie "But he didn't have a fishing rod, so I sold him one of those. Then I found out that he didn't have anything to go fishing in, so I sold him a boat, and then I sold him 4x4 to tow the boat with" said the Aussie. "Blimey" said the manager, so they guy came in for a pack of hooks and you sold him all that?". "No" said the Aussie. "He came in for a packet of tampons for his old lady, and I said that seeing as his weekend was knackered, he might as well go fishing!". |
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Villan
Really should get out more
Joined: 26 Nov 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1768 |
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Posted: 10 Oct 08 at 2:39pm |
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More banking news... Looks like Japan is going down the tube Following the problems with Lehmann Bros and in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock, HBOS and Bradford & Bingley in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal
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Vareo - 149 "Secrets"
TandyUK Servers |
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oakey
Newbie
Joined: 22 Jun 08 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 3 |
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Posted: 11 Oct 08 at 11:55pm |
can i just ask who actualy comes up with all the "lol"s and "lmao"s and things. there are so many and i was wondering who was lazy enough to type "tbh" instead of "to be honest". oh and here are i few i know...i'll leave you to work them out. ... ... Lmfao What wth omg omfg ily brb g2g ilysm stfu atm ......all i can think of at the moment. if your sad enough to make some more up, do so! 
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JimC
Really should get out more
Joined: 17 May 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 6661 |
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Posted: 12 Oct 08 at 7:47am |
The practice dates back to the early days of the net when bandwidth was a real isue and every character was precious. When you had a 2400 bits per second modem, which is 300 letters per minutetops and usually less, and you were pulling down a few dozen messages in a usenet discussion and paying full telephone call rates every saving was worth making. And also the early users tended to be Unix types, where all the commands are abbreviated to the extremes of terseness (for much the same reasons). Then of course the final reason - no geek could type fast back then and they were the only internet users... Edited by JimC |
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bert
Really should get out more
Joined: 23 Apr 05 Location: norwich usually Online Status: Offline Posts: 584 |
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Posted: 12 Oct 08 at 6:41pm |
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So as somebody who likes to read & understand a message what the hell do they mean?
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Phantom 1181
AC-227 IC 304 blaze / halo 586 |
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dave.blakesley
Far too distracted from work 
Joined: 25 Mar 08 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 314 |
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Posted: 12 Oct 08 at 6:52pm |
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Lmfao - laughing my f****g a*s off
wth - what the hell omg - oh my god omfg - oh my f****g god ily - i love you brb - be right back g2g - got to go ilysm - l love you so much stfu - shut the f*** up atm - at the moment |
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bert
Really should get out more
Joined: 23 Apr 05 Location: norwich usually Online Status: Offline Posts: 584 |
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Posted: 12 Oct 08 at 9:22pm |
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GIASHNIKT,T :- god I am so happy now I know that,Thanks
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Phantom 1181
AC-227 IC 304 blaze / halo 586 |
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