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Contender443 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender443 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 25 Feb 05 at 7:28am
Heh go on Blobby, give it a try....
Bonnie Lass Contender 1764
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Blobby View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Blobby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Feb 05 at 7:29am
Just need to arrange for 6ft of powder in Singapore...hmm!
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Feb 05 at 7:49am

Are you sure you're on the right thread with this posting, Blobby?

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Blobby View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Blobby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Feb 05 at 7:53am
Not now I'm not!
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Phil eltringham View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Phil eltringham Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Feb 05 at 10:49am

Got sent this yesterday, better than average...

Subject:Moral of the story...

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three  wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get times ten."

The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do
realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man
in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's  okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman and he will have eyes only  for me. "So, KAZAM!" she's  the most
beautiful woman in the world.


For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The
frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and
he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine. "So, KAZAM!" she's the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like
a mild heart attack."




Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers:  This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good. :)



Attention Male readers: Please scroll down.












The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them  continue to think that way and just enjoy the show..


PS: If you are a woman and you are still reading this, it only goes to
show that you women never listen!

FLAT IS FAST!
Shifts Happen
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Feb 05 at 10:57am
Just as well we never listen! You guys wouldn't like us if we did!!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Feb 05 at 1:00am

Aaah ah!

Let's go back to the topic of the original posting... Airplanes...

Got a very long list here, far too long to post at once. It's supposed to be genuine, who knows? All I say is, se non è vero, è ben trovato.

Here is the beginning:

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

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Win or Swim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Win or Swim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Feb 05 at 2:16pm

Just got this email through:

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping-- Love you
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night."
Jack son answers "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door!"
Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a red rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed," 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!' "

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless

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Post Options Post Options   Quote hurricane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Feb 05 at 5:38pm
awwww how sweet
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Post Options Post Options   Quote sailor.jon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Feb 05 at 5:43pm
win or swim:

u weren't sent that by master card by anychance lol
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