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BBSCFaithfull View Drop Down
Really should get out more
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Joined: 06 Dec 05
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Posts: 1251 		Post Options Post Options   Quote BBSCFaithfull Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 10:14am
Ha ha thats funny! 
Greatfully Sponsored By
www.allgoodfun.com
Int 14 GBR 1503!!
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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 10:48am
Yea it is
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 10:58am

Greeting cards.

Have you ever noticed how sickening some greeting cards can be?
Now, what about cards that tell the truth for once (great plan with Valentine round the corner... Evil Smile).

Here's an e-mail I received today:

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad
day........  IF ONLY YOU COULD GET CARDS LIKE THESE !


My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lancing SC
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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 11:06am

I like the first and lasty one best

Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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Prince Buster View Drop Down
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Posts: 1146 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Prince Buster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 12:21pm
Originally posted by MRJP BUZZ 585

I like the first and lasty one best



you like them most.  Honestly, what is forum grammar coming to these days!!!
international moth - "what what?"
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 1:19pm
Originally posted by Prince Buster

Originally posted by MRJP BUZZ 585

I like the first and lasty one best



you like them most.  Honestly, what is forum grammar coming to these days!!!

Oy you! Whoever you are, pretending to be Prince Buster, get out! Give us our real PB back!!

Lancing SC
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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1402 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 4:53pm
Originally posted by Prince Buster

Originally posted by MRJP BUZZ 585

I like the first and lasty one best



you like them most.  Honestly, what is forum grammar coming to these days!!!

you like them the most

Kids

When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

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Villan View Drop Down
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Posts: 1768 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Villan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 7:57pm
December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director

December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director

December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patty Lewis - Human Researchers Director

December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis - Human Racehorses Director

December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."
Patty Lewis - Human Ratraces

December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell!

December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director



----

Thankies to HannahJ to forwarding this to me! ( She made me put this line ... Pain is bad! )

Edited by Villan
Vareo - 149 "Secrets"
TandyUK Servers
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HannahJ View Drop Down
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Posts: 861 		Post Options Post Options   Quote HannahJ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 07 at 7:59pm
heheee
alternatively go to clicky for more of the same
MIRROR 64799 "Dolphin"
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist hopes it will change; the realist adjusts the sail
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HannahJ View Drop Down
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Posts: 861 		Post Options Post Options   Quote HannahJ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Feb 07 at 8:49pm
cor killed this thread, didn't I...
here's somethingto start it off again



Try reading this out loud: it's surprisingly difficult, apparently not many people over the age of 40 can
 
 
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is a cat
This is goodcat
This is way cat
This is of cat
This is keeping cat
This is a cat
This is moron cat
This is happy cat
This is for cat
This is 40 cat
This is seconds cat
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




 
now go back and read the 3rd word on every line
MIRROR 64799 "Dolphin"
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist hopes it will change; the realist adjusts the sail
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