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les5269 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
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Joined: 11 Oct 05
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Posts: 1530 		Post Options Post Options   Quote les5269 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 24 Jun 06 at 8:47pm
49er 531 & 5000 5025 and a mirror(now gone to mirror heaven)!

Grafham water Sailing Club The greatest inland sailing in the country
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Isis View Drop Down
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Posts: 2753 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Isis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jun 06 at 8:58pm
Inspired!! 
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laser47 View Drop Down
Far too distracted from work
Far too distracted from work
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Posts: 349 		Post Options Post Options   Quote laser47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jun 06 at 9:30pm
ha ha that's great
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phantom871 View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie
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Posts: 86 		Post Options Post Options   Quote phantom871 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 06 at 7:10pm

Whats yellow and looks good on an architect?

 

A JCB

They are the bain of my life!

 

What black and brown and looks good on an architect?

5 wrotweilers!

 
If its bent pull harder
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BBSCFaithfull View Drop Down
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Posts: 1251 		Post Options Post Options   Quote BBSCFaithfull Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 06 at 7:25pm
Hee hee. When i go to work with my dad. I always pray a large piece of rsj falle on the building inspectors. They are always self richous twa*s who are never satisfied
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Int 14 GBR 1503!!
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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jun 06 at 8:16am
Yea the one i see always have a suit on with a brand new reflective jacket and hard hat and have smart shoes and get annoyed when walking through dirt or if any dirt goes on their new jacket
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jul 06 at 8:11pm

Since we're into innuendoes on another thread, I might as well share this pearl of wisdom with you:

 

A mother and her young son were flying Virgin Atlantic from London to New  York.

The son (who had been looking out the window turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight  attendant.

So the boy asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that she did.

"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Virgin Atlantic always pulls out on time... And you can ask your mother to explain that to you."
Lancing SC
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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1496 		Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jul 06 at 8:13pm
will tell that to a flight attendent i know
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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timnoyce View Drop Down
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Posts: 1991 		Post Options Post Options   Quote timnoyce Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 06 at 7:07pm
one for the older generations....

The Old Poodle


A wealthy lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep sh*t now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story..
Don't mess with old farts. Age and cunning will always overcome youth and skill! Bullsh*t and brilliance only come with age and experience!
BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb
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ianwat2212 View Drop Down
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Posts: 88 		Post Options Post Options   Quote ianwat2212 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 06 at 9:30pm

On the very same subject:

A farmer decides his rooster has got too old for the job and heads out to buy a younger one. When the young rooster arives in the yard he heads straight over to the old rooster and says, "right grandad, I'm in charge here now, hand over the hen-house", "not so fast sonny" replies the old rooster, "I'm only handing over my territory if you can beat me in a challenge, how about a race round the farmhouse?" "sure" says the young rooster "In fact, I'll even give you a head start, since you're so old and frail". So the two roosters line up to start, the old rooster sets off and the young rooster sprints off in pursuit a minute later. The Farmer, who is sitting on his terrace cleaning his gun, sees the roosters come round the corner of the farmhouse, lifts his gun to his shoulder, shoots the youg rooster, who by this time has nearly caught up, through the head and declares "bloody hell, thats the fourth gay rooster I bought this week".

and a more topical joke:
Sophie Ellis Bextor has been found headbutted to death in the french team hotel, police are saying there was murder on Zidane's floor.
Fireball RSA 14723
Simonis 35 "Scarlet Sun" SA 1500
Royal Cape Yacht Club
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