best funny emails

Good to see she can spell b*****d in that second picture

Here's another...

Dear Paddy,

Just a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read very fast. You won't recognise the house when you get back, we have moved.

About your father, he has started a new job with over 2,500 people under him, he's cutting the grass in the cemetery. There was a washing machine in the new home when we moved in but I don't think it is working properly. I put in two of your fathers shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

I have just heard that your sister has had a baby, but I don't know if it is a boy or a girl so I can't tell you if you're an aunt or an uncle.
Your uncle Paddy Jr drowned last week in a vat of whiskey. All his work mates at the Dublin Brewery tried to save him but he fought them of very bravely. They cremated his body and took three days to put out the fire.

I went to the Doctors last week and your father came with me. The doctor put a tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 15 minutes. Your father wanted to buy it from him offering him £200. It only rained twice last week, first for 3 days and second for 4. I wanted to put £10 in with this letter, for you to have a pint on me but your father already sealed the envelope. Hope to hear from you soon.

Your loving mother

Oh alright then BNS seeing as you aked so nicely....

What happened when a princess kissed Jacques Delores?

Nothing he is still a frog!

Awful I know.....but it's a start.

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking the beach one day when they come across a lantern. One of them picks it up and out pops a genie. "I’ll grant you one wish each" says the genie. The Welshman says, "I’m a farmer, my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm the land. My wish is that the land in will remain fertile forever in Wales." "Done," said the genie. The genie turned to the Frenchman. "Well, I would like a wall around France to stop all unwanted people coming into my precious country." "OK" says the genie, "It’s done. The genie then looks at the Englishman. "I’m curious, says the Englishman, please tell me more about this wall." "Well," says the genie. "It’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out. "I see, says the Englishman, very interesting." "So then, what’s your wish?" says the genie. The Englishman replies, "Fill it with water."

Originally posted by timnoyce Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking the beach one day when they come across a lantern. One of them picks it up and out pops a genie. "I’ll grant you one wish each" says the genie. The Welshman says, "I’m a farmer, my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm the land. My wish is that the land in will remain fertile forever in Wales." "Done," said the genie. The genie turned to the Frenchman. "Well, I would like a wall around France to stop all unwanted people coming into my precious country." "OK" says the genie, "It’s done. The genie then looks at the Englishman. "I’m curious, says the Englishman, please tell me more about this wall." "Well," says the genie. "It’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out. "I see, says the Englishman, very interesting." "So then, what’s your wish?" says the genie. The Englishman replies, "Fill it with water."

Seen a very similar version involving and iranian, an iraqi and an isreali.....

Originally posted by timnoyce Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking the beach one day when they come across a lantern. One of them picks it up and out pops a genie. "I’ll grant you one wish each" says the genie. The Welshman says, "I’m a farmer, my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm the land. My wish is that the land in will remain fertile forever in Wales." "Done," said the genie. The genie turned to the Frenchman. "Well, I would like a wall around France to stop all unwanted people coming into my precious country." "OK" says the genie, "It’s done. The genie then looks at the Englishman. "I’m curious, says the Englishman, please tell me more about this wall." "Well," says the genie. "It’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out. "I see, says the Englishman, very interesting." "So then, what’s your wish?" says the genie. The Englishman replies, "Fill it with water."

Dont get it, can someone explain?