best funny emails

Oh now that is good...

Got this one the other day...

I would be most grateful for any advice anyone could give on this matter of deep concern to me.

For sometime now I've suspected that my wife may be having an affair. You know the sort of thing. The phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up.

Recently she has started going out 'with the girls' a lot and when I ask which girls it's always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them".

I always used keep an eye out for her taxi coming home but now she always walks up to the flat although I can hear a car setting off as if she has just got out of one around the corner.

The other day I picked up her mobile, just to see what time it was, and she went mental, screaming at me that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I kind of think deep down I don't really want to know the truth.

But then last night she went out again and I decided that I would check up on her. I hid behind my car which I knew would give me a good view of the whole street so I could see which car she got out of on her return.

It was whilst I crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.

Do you think I Should take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from Halfords and try to repair it myself?

How many forums members does it take to change a light bulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

I truly wish I had, because most of these tend to apply to me !