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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 27 Oct 05 at 3:02pm

Ouch, that makes my eyes water just to think of it!
Are you trying to suggest that your ar ole looks like your armpits? LOL LOL

 

Noooooooooooooooooooooo don't answer!! We're gonna get ASBO-ed! Ouch Ouch

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jpbuzz591 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote jpbuzz591 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 05 at 5:06pm
blocked topic coming soon
Jp Indoe
Contender 518
Buzz591
Chew Valley Sailing club
Bristol
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49erGBR735HSC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 05 at 6:08pm
.........Still funny though........
Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
Helensburgh S.C
Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

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Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Oct 05 at 6:35pm

I can see you've selected your avitar well.......

To quote the Kaiser Chiefs "I predict a riot" and thankfully I'm not involved

Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
Helensburgh S.C
Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Oct 05 at 12:35am
Originally posted by turnturtle

Originally posted by Black no sugar

Ouch, that makes my eyes water just to think of it!
Are you trying to suggest that your ar ole looks like your armpits? LOL LOL

 



nope, just that some housewives can become very bored....

I don't qualify for the title of housewife. Full-time job, plus part-time job, plus 2 girls on shool holidays, plus visiting family, plus sailing club. If I use a deodorant, it's underarm only.

However, I can imagine newlyweds finding a novel use for roll-on deodorant... as would prove turnturtle's first wedding photograph - tell us, James.... what was in your left hand for your lovely bride to smile so happily?? Wink

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Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Oct 05 at 6:54am
 BNS got that contender yet???? Proving to be a crafty tactician!  (I'm off out to do a bit of running just in case the wind doesn't stop this winter )
Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
Helensburgh S.C
Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Isis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Oct 05 at 5:47pm
Originally posted by 49erGBR735HSC

(I'm off out to do a bit of running just in case the wind doesn't stop this winter )


lets hope not
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Oct 05 at 12:02pm
 Sorry turntutle, didn't want to upset you, it was just a joke! I know you took it as such, and I'll stop there... As for my photo, Confused it's probably the reason why I'm not getting any business............ Dead Dead
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Oct 05 at 12:49pm

Les poissons de Babel ne méritent qu'une chose : les faire frire à la poêle ! Toutefois, je dois admettre que cette-fois ci, la traduction automatique n'était pas trop farfelue. Big smile

Il ne vaut mieux pas continuer comme ça ; des conversations en français et même en allemand sont déjà apparues sur ce forum (hein, Spot !) mais c'est marrant, peu de gens ont répondu... LOL LOL LOL

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Blobby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Nov 05 at 5:39am
In the interest of good public relations perhaps we can provide our ‘customers’ with the following guidelines….

 
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When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, and stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from our video recording.

When an IT person says s/he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to Remember 300 screen saver passwords.

When IT Support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your problems right out. We don't even like eating food, we exist only to serve.

Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When we do something as a favour in our own time at our own expense, feel free to criticise us.

That's OK, we don't expect you to lift anything or get under your desk. Manual labour was part of our IT degree.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call Computer Support. There's electronics in it.

When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call Computer Support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what is meant by "my thingy blew up".

When you call someone in to fix a problem -but don't tell them about the other 10 problems until they physically arrive. That's OK -we can clear our schedule for the rest of the day.

Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

When your application can't do what you want... blame us, we write all the software that runs on your PC and can customise it on the fly. Bill Gates lets us do this.

Remember the IT guy doesn't need to think -he has seen every problem before.

If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20 kg of computer sitting on top of them.

If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail/NT/network upgrade.

Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

When you find an IT person on the phone, sit uninvited on the corner of their desk and stare at them until they hang up.

Regards,
Your IT Department
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