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Spot192 View Drop Down
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Joined: 28 Nov 04
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Posts: 833 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Spot192 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 15 Aug 05 at 11:56am
tha ducks are really funny!
come on don´t be that cruel to the lovley animal called cat! i absolutley love cats (got 2 at home)!
but there are times i wanna kill my babies! everytime i bring my wetsuit home with me both cats are lying in it! oh i absolutley hate that cos one cat is beige and then i got his hair everywhere over my suit!!
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HannahJ View Drop Down
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Posts: 861 		Post Options Post Options   Quote HannahJ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 05 at 3:36pm
Extra insulation to keep you warm in the winter tho!
MIRROR 64799 "Dolphin"
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist hopes it will change; the realist adjusts the sail
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 05 at 5:55pm
I hope you're all enjoying your holidays and you travelled far and wide. However, I'm not sure if you had the chance to notice the bizarre world of roadsigns. Click HERE to see what you've missed!
Lancing SC
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 05 at 6:45pm

Every now and then, we all need direction in our lives. Working is sooooo tough. I've got just what you all need... good advice !

Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspiration Posters

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.

Plagiarism saves time.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

Succeed in spite of management.

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Lancing SC
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Phil eltringham View Drop Down
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Posts: 1105 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Phil eltringham Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 05 at 10:30pm

BnS, its like reading the story of my life, good stuff!! btw, anymore engineer jokes?
FLAT IS FAST!
Shifts Happen
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Posts: 1031 		Post Options Post Options   Quote sailor girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 05 at 9:25am
Sailor Girl, Queen Of The Forum!
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 05 at 5:31pm

Phil! I've got a story for you! See what you could do in 30 years' time!!

The Right Place

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.

Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is".

The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark $1
Knowing where to put it $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Lancing SC
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 05 at 6:18pm

One more then I go back to work !

Drug Dealers Vs Software Developers

Drug Dealers

Software Developers

Refer to their clients as "users". Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!" "Download a free trial version..."
Have important South-East Asian connections
(to help move the stuff). 		Have important South-East Asian connections
(to help debug the code).
Strange jargon: "Stick,"Rock" ,"Dime bag,"E". Strange jargon: "SCSI,"RTFM", "Java,"ISDN".
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent mixes. Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions. DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem
Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!

Lancing SC
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Phil eltringham View Drop Down
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Posts: 1105 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Phil eltringham Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 05 at 8:56pm

good stuff!!

not quite as good but try this:
FLAT IS FAST!
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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 05 at 9:05pm

That link doesn't seem to work for me, but maybe you could try this:

http://uk.rd.yahoo.com/oa/*http://www2.gamesville.lycos.com/ html_poke/poke_penguin.htm

That's where you found it in the first place!
Lancing SC
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