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Originally posted by Mike278 Originally posted by Spot192 germany is still in the older days! and this paper was so difficult to write! why have the romans conquered you brits??  I think that the romans also conquered Germany, and nearly all of what is now europe.

Glad to be on the edge of the sailing scene again.  When I last sailed regularily, my Laser (when Laser only meant small single hander!) had 4 numbers on the sail!  International 14s where exploring twin trapezes, up to then they were great on starboard, bit of a handfull on port .....

Back to the thread:

CHANGES TO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE > > > > > >
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will become the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her  Majesty's
Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known  as "Euro-English."

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favor of
the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less
letter.  There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words
like'fotograf' 20% shorter!  In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expected  to  reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters
which have always ben a  deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horible mes of  the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.  By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th'  with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary
'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali
sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find
it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.  Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru and ve vil rul
ze vorld!!!!!


EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European
currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and
Northern Ireland must be aware that the phrase "Spending a penny"
is not to be used after 31st December 2002. From this date, the correct
terminology will be "Euronating".

[QUOTE=Mike278] (page 38)

A :couple more stupid warnings

On a blanket from Taiwan -NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

Seen on Granose concentrated Soya milk in mid 1980s: 
"Once opened, shake vigorously"

...



But it is not fizzy ....

It's far too easy to laugh at other languages' attempts to sound a little more interesting.... So, let's do it!  

Follow this LINK to whet your appetite!

After all, Spot herself has a penchant for mini-Dickmanns

This thread is a saviour - has saved me from boredom soooooo many times! And my friends...