Dear Dave

   Sorry but I am too busy solving serious problems.  Don't worry about your college assignments.  By the time you have spent more time with your girlfriend she will find out what you are really like.  She will realise that she does not want a relationship with you and dump you.  
You will then have plenty of time to do your own assignments.
I hope this puts your mind at rest.

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bigwavedave Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 04 Jun 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 944	Post Options Post Reply Quote bigwavedave Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Dear Dave Posted: 30 May 05 at 4:44pm
	Sorry but I am too busy solving serious problems. Don't worry about your college assignments. By the time you have spent more time with your girlfriend she will find out what you are really like. She will realise that she does not want a relationship with you and dump you. You will then have plenty of time to do your own assignments. I hope this puts your mind at rest.


49erGBR735HSC Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 30 Mar 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991	Post Options Post Reply Quote 49erGBR735HSC Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 30 May 05 at 4:34pm
	Dear Dave, Would you like to do my college assignments for me so I can spend more time with my girlfriend and focus on building a quality relationship?
	Dennis Watson 49er GBR735 Helensburgh S.C Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

bigwavedave Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 04 Jun 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 944	Post Options Post Reply Quote bigwavedave Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 30 May 05 at 1:52pm
	Pushing your luck there Blobby with three questions in one but I am here to help. Whatever you do DO NOT BUILD A CHERUB IN YOUR LIVING ROOM. I cannot express this strongly enough. Build it in the bedroom. You will find the bed an ideal working platform. Also if you build it in the living room you will not be able to see the television properly. Once your new arrival is here your wife will spend most of her time in the nursery and you will be left to sleep in peace on the sofa, so no need for the bedroom, in fact she won't want you anywhere near her in the bedroom once she has given birth. A chinese takeaway and bunch of flowers from a garage forecourt is not suitable compensation. When my wife last attacked me with a rusty blade I would accept no less than four cans of lager, a large bowl of jellied eels and a subscription to my favourite porn mag as compensation. Stand firm and do not let her get away with anything less.


Blobby Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 07 May 04 Location: Australia Online Status: Offline Posts: 779	Post Options Post Reply Quote Blobby Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 30 May 05 at 10:49am
	Dear Dave, I live in a flat in Singapore and I wish to build a Cherub in my living room. My wife (7 1/2 months pregnant) does not think this is the best idea I have ever had and is threatening drastic surgery (on me with a rusty penknife) should I proceed with this plan. How should I best approach the problem? Will the Chinese take away and a bunch of flowers from a garage forecourt approach be considered suitable compensation?

bigwavedave Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 04 Jun 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 944	Post Options Post Reply Quote bigwavedave Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 30 May 05 at 8:48am
	Dear BNS I can sympathise with your condition. The reason you are still awake at such a late hour is the amount of chocolate covered coffee beans you consumed. The swaying feeling is the confusion in your brain caused by the rapid writing down of long numbers. NOTHING to do with the beer your were seen to be guzzling. A chinese takeaway is a suitable distraction from the effects of spending the day on a small boat with good looking, humerous, intelligent, agony uncle and an engineer. Next time try the all you can eat option. All symptoms should be gone by the morning. If they have not then go back to bed and leave your husband to look after the kids.


Black no sugar Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941	Post Options Post Reply Quote Black no sugar Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 29 May 05 at 11:10pm
	Dear Dave, I have been at the Laser Open in Lancing all day, trying to help in the committee boat. There wasn't much wind and the boat was gently rocking. It's now 11pm and I still have this swaying feeling, although I'm now on terra firma. Do you think it'll disappear soon? Has it got anything to do with the excellent Arundel Gold served at the bar? (PS. I've just had a Chinese takeaway as well, I thought I'd mention it, as you're an expert... can it make the condition worse?)
	Lancing SC

sailor girl Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 13 Jun 04 Location: Spain Online Status: Offline Posts: 1031	Post Options Post Reply Quote sailor girl Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 29 May 05 at 8:15pm
	damit!
	Sailor Girl, Queen Of The Forum!

bigwavedave Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 04 Jun 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 944	Post Options Post Reply Quote bigwavedave Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 29 May 05 at 8:01pm
	No No No. By the time sufficient alcohol reaches your feet you will have fallen over and have blisters on your hands and knees from trying to crawl home. A thick layer of margarine over your feet before you next step into your flip flops should provide all the protection you need.


sailor girl Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 13 Jun 04 Location: Spain Online Status: Offline Posts: 1031	Post Options Post Reply Quote sailor girl Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 29 May 05 at 7:52pm
	should i do the same for the blisters on my feet from wearing flip flops?? do i need to drink more alcohol cos they are on my feet and will take longer for the alcohol to reach?!! hehe!
	Sailor Girl, Queen Of The Forum!

bigwavedave Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 04 Jun 04 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 944	Post Options Post Reply Quote bigwavedave Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 29 May 05 at 7:36pm
	Mmmm not an easy one to start off with, but fortunately i am blessed with immense medical knowledge. Fill the holes with ding stick. this is available from all good surf and windsurf shops. It is best to anetit aheteniti anethiter NUMB the area to be treated prior to inserting the ding stick. Rub alchohol into the infected area. This must be done internally so drink loads until it seeps from the wounds, you re then ready to insert the ding stick. If you are lucky there will be some girlies at the young racers camp who will be impressed with your injuries and you might pull one. give up the unicycle and get a tricycle instead.