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Dear Dave

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MerlinMags View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 May 08 at 11:36am
Only just found this thread, and read it with immense enjoyment. How come Y&Y have not hired Dave yet, to write an advice column in the magazine? I will have to have a word with our Editor....

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Contender443 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender443 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 1:43pm

Originally posted by MerlinMags

Only just found this thread, and read it with immense enjoyment. How come Y&Y have not hired Dave yet, to write an advice column in the magazine? I will have to have a word with our Editor....

No please don't encourage him any more

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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 2:04pm

three words

Don't do it

 

Actually.....

 

Dear Dave.. When counting words does a contraction coount as one word or two?

When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

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Post Options Post Options   Quote alstorer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 2:05pm

Dear Dave,

we're missing our class nationals due to the helm (and boat owner) cocking up and double booking himself. When we're back on the water next weekend, what's the best way to punish him?

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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 8:34pm

When he is getting changed before the race pop his towel in the shower, he will have no option but to dry himself with an item of clothing.  Also put some condoms in his kitbag. His wife will enjoy finding those.

When I used to sail with my Dad (a long time ago) I used to find that those three little words 'need a poo'  ten seconds before the start used to irritate him.

If you are feeling spiteful then put some frozen prawns under his car seat.

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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 10:10pm

Dave

You are a bad, bad man

 

You may want to 'spill' a bottle of milk in his car - stinks for months

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fill a drunk mans bed with milk powder and turn up the heating - the skin will absorb the milk powder and then slowly turn rancid....... Not nice



Edited by Contender 541
When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 10:18pm
Contender 541 if you want to get your own back on a drunk, wait until he/she is passed out and put their hand in a bowl of warm water.  They will pi$$ themselves, guaranteed.
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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 08 at 10:51pm

Been there...!!!

 

If you really want to have fun with a drunk - Wait until they have passed out and then stip their room. Reconstruct the room item for item and position for position on the roof or in the car park.

If you do this in advance (reconstruct the room on a different floor of halls - ground instead of the 3rd) and then take the 'victim' out on the lash.  Get home, start a row, throw victim out of the '3rd' floor window..........

 

 

When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

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MRJP BUZZ 585 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote MRJP BUZZ 585 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jun 08 at 5:31pm
Dear Dave,

PC world are stealing my laptop for repairs for ten days and i don't know how i will cope. Is there anything else to waste time with while i am not sailing?
Josh Preater

BUZZING IS FUN

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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jun 08 at 9:24pm
Beer
When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

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