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theycallmegod View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote theycallmegod Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: best funny emails
    Posted: 12 Sep 09 at 6:28pm
Originally posted by tack'ho

It would be funny if it wasn't true!!


If that were the case it would be the funniest thing since Boris Johnson fell in a river...


Edited by theycallmegod
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rogerd View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote rogerd Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Sep 09 at 9:37pm
You forgot the grasshoppers children who died of neglect and abuse and the social wokers got the blame for not watching them every second of the day. Whilst dealing with a huge workload of paper  in triplicate for each visit made in order to ensure all targets are met.

Edited by rogerd
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winging it View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote winging it Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Sep 09 at 3:33pm
Reply to Rio

the fixed version!


Edited by winging it
the same, but different...

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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Sep 09 at 6:54pm

Originally posted by winging it

A reply to Rio

404

Not 404



Edited by Contender 541
When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

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Post Options Post Options   Quote winging it Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Oct 09 at 4:07pm

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. 

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'  
 
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'    The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
 
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'  The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'   
 
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'     The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'     
 
 Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'  
 
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' 
 
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500  tickets at two pounds a piece and made a profit of £898'  
 
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'    Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two pounds back.' 

 

Paddy now works for  t he Royal Bank of Scotland
the same, but different...

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Post Options Post Options   Quote Skiffybob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Oct 09 at 8:32pm

I thought the punchline was going to be:-

Paddy now runs Ryanair!

12ft Skiff - Gordon Keeble and the Furry Fly-by
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tack'ho View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote tack'ho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Oct 09 at 11:34am

I got a random e-mail the other day, I didn't ask for it and god knows where they got my address.  It said  G A N B

 

 

Personally I think it's bang out of order.

I might be sailing it, but it's still sh**e!
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Post Options Post Options   Quote hollandsd Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Oct 09 at 1:02pm
LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Quote The Moo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Oct 09 at 8:44am
EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

' Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?'

'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless Tit?'

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Post Options Post Options   Quote radixon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Nov 09 at 8:35am
bump
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