Question?

Dear Helz,

I tried to to reply in an simple, clear and understandable manner but I am afraid you might have misunderstood the meaning of my previous message.
First of all, I would like to apologise for my spelling but the subtle intricacies of the English language tend to escape me.

I never said sailing wasn't a sport, although the concept of sailing a dinghy as a "sexual" sport is new to me. To complete my education, I would be very interested to know how the adjective "sexual" can be applied to a pastime that gets us
- wet (yeah OK, but that's about it),
- cold (not my scene),
- equipped with a swimsuit (wait, there's more),
- a rashvest (the word itself isn't a turn-on),
- a steamer (better concept until you zip it up),
- a spraytop (I won't comment on that one)
- a trapeze harness (nice and tight but not bondage)
- a buoyancy aid (ultimate Wonderbra).

Surely, something has bypassed me. But you can do the splits?! On the trapeze!?! I am impressed   Last time I tried that, I wrapped myself around the mast, eh Carshalton?

Seriously, if you can find a buoyancy aid that fits you, surely you can find a trapeze harness in the Junior section.

" a f*****g sexual sport espech when u r out on the trapeze" ..........
Sorry... mind wandering......

Don't give me another explanation for this metaphor. I will refrain to comment further.

Just one final point: better leave the public school slang at school or you're in for serious damage with our boys

Nope   Not sure I know anyone in your year but maybe above, georgia? angus? The rest of the raes. 

Blimey, the Royal Horticultural Society is really gettin' down with the homies.  I blame Titchmarsh and Dimmock myself.

Mind you, I'm not that far from Wakehurst Place.  Wonder how sexual it is over there?  Nice place for it.

Royal Hospital School: Is that like a special school, or are they just all wacked on Scooby Snacks?

Whatever, someone needs to check out the English classes, I reckon