New Posts New Posts RSS Feed: Dear Dave
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login

Dear Dave
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 4445464748 77>
Author
  Share Topic Share Topic  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Contender 541 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 05 Dec 05
Location: Burton on Trent
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1402 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Dear Dave
    Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 2:35am
Originally posted by bigwavedave

I find an informative medical comment such as "wow hips that big must be a great natural contraceptive" normally does the trick.

Your going straight to hell for that one

Just dont forget the correct answer to the question 'am I as big as she is?' is always no.  You may think what you like.....but the answer is no else you get one of these

When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

Back to Top
49erGBR735HSC View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1991 		Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 2:54am
Originally posted by bigwavedave

Make sure the candle is alight before she sniffs it. This will numb the nasal passages and cure the habit.

To stop her eating the chocolate subtly drop into the conversation how fat she is looking.  I find an informative medical comment such as "wow hips that big must be a great natural contraceptive" normally does the trick.

...........LEGEND ONCE AGAIN DAVE!!!!!!!!
Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
Helensburgh S.C
Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

Back to Top
mike ellis View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2339 		Post Options Post Options   Quote mike ellis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 5:50pm
i cldnt agree more with contender a coment like that will get me drowned, scalped or hung. but lighting the candle sounds like a great idea.

Edited by mike ellis
Back to Top
bigwavedave View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 04 Jun 04
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 944 		Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 8:06pm

Maybe but she will stop eating the chocolate and your crew will be down to weight.

An alternative would be "I was thinking about getting a couple of Finns, one for each of us"
Back to Top
A Seabadger View Drop Down
Far too distracted from work
Far too distracted from work
Avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 222 		Post Options Post Options   Quote A Seabadger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 9:31pm
Whats wrong which chocolate candles anyway? anything to do with Chocolate can't be bad.

But you should be warned that lighting the candle is surposed to scent the whole room.
I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every moment of it.
Back to Top
mike ellis View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2339 		Post Options Post Options   Quote mike ellis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 06 at 4:06pm
well the "finn"s comment is an improvement. lighting the candle under her nose will mean she wont smell it any more thus curing her addiction. ill just have to hope no-one else in the room is liable to addiction.

Edited by mike ellis
Back to Top
Contender 541 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 05 Dec 05
Location: Burton on Trent
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1402 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 06 at 6:11pm

Heres a good Idea....

Set up a website....  Iwantafreethingy.com, and then get everyone to contribute a couple of quid each.  Simple

 

What you mean 'Its already been done'.

Must stop talking in my sleep, thats what it must be.  Noone else could possibly have thought of this one before me

When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

Crew on 505 8780

Back to Top
bigwavedave View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 04 Jun 04
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 944 		Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 06 at 6:45pm

I think that Contender 541 has provided the most common answer. However have you thought about setting up a web site .........

No ignore that, I think it has been done before, why not sit on a street corner holding out your hand to every person who walks past asking for their spare change. For this marketing idea (some may call it begging) to work ensure that you are wearing a new pair of trainers which cost in excess of £100.

And whilst I'm at it,

Big Issue sellers, Ok you have proved that you are willing to work, SO GO AND GET A BLOODY JOB.
Back to Top
Pondling View Drop Down
Posting king
Posting king
Avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 149 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Pondling Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 06 at 7:27pm
how does a website make someone hate chocolate?! OOOOH ive just thought of something, say something really inhumane about chocolate, ie, did u know that they make it with 1/3 lard? to make her think, id stop eating it but im under weight anyway !!
Sailors don't get old!!! They get a little dinghy (or skiff, or yacht...)
Feva 251
RS200 1117
RS200 897
Back to Top
les5269 View Drop Down
Really should get out more
Really should get out more
Avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 05
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1530 		Post Options Post Options   Quote les5269 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 06 at 7:36pm
Originally posted by bigwavedave

And whilst I'm at it,

Big Issue sellers, Ok you have proved that you are willing to work, SO GO AND GET A BLOODY JOB.

awww and I thought that was a job!!!

49er 531 & 5000 5025 and a mirror(now gone to mirror heaven)!

Grafham water Sailing Club The greatest inland sailing in the country
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 4445464748 77>

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Bulletin Board Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 9.665y
Copyright ©2001-2010 Web Wiz
Change your personal settings, or read our privacy policy