Lethal Granny

   An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.  

Older Woman: Oh, I see.  
Officer: Can I see your license please?  

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.  
Officer: Don't have one?  

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.  
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.  

Older Woman: I can't do that.  
Officer: Why not?  

Older Woman: I stole this car.  
Officer: Stole it?  

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.  
Officer: You what?  

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.  

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.  

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?  
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?  
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?  

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.  

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.  
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.  

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.  

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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Phat Bouy Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Posting king Joined: 15 Jun 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 168	Post Options Post Reply Quote Phat Bouy Report Post Quote Reply Topic: Lethal Granny Posted: 06 Feb 06 at 7:25pm
	An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
	Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

mike ellis Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 30 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 2339	Post Options Post Reply Quote mike ellis Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Feb 06 at 7:56pm
	thats a bit odd. dont realy find it funny but ive seen a boat in portsmouth harbour called red hot granny. its bright red and looks quite fast. only seen it off its mooring once.

jpbuzz591 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 24 May 05 Location: England Online Status: Offline Posts: 793	Post Options Post Reply Quote jpbuzz591 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Feb 06 at 8:25pm
	i thuoght that was quite funny mike, wheres you're sense of humour?
	Jp Indoe Contender 518 Buzz591 Chew Valley Sailing club Bristol

mike ellis Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 30 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 2339	Post Options Post Reply Quote mike ellis Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Feb 06 at 8:50pm
	it was mildly amuzing but ive heard better

Prince Buster Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 15 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1146	Post Options Post Reply Quote Prince Buster Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 06 Feb 06 at 8:53pm
	I liked it - well done phatty boom bouy!!!!
	international moth - "what what?"

stuarthop Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Really should get out more Joined: 22 Dec 04 Location: Nottingham Online Status: Offline Posts: 1040	Post Options Post Reply Quote stuarthop Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 07 Feb 06 at 6:03pm



timnoyce Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 05 Aug 04 Location: Hampshire Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991	Post Options Post Reply Quote timnoyce Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 07 Feb 06 at 6:07pm

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mike ellis Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 30 Dec 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 2339	Post Options Post Reply Quote mike ellis Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 07 Feb 06 at 6:41pm
	i am out voted.

Black no sugar Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Visit Member's Homepage Really should get out more Joined: 04 Dec 04 Location: Somewhere between Brighton and Lancing Online Status: Offline Posts: 3941	Post Options Post Reply Quote Black no sugar Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 07 Feb 06 at 7:29pm
	I should hope so It's a funny story, and I might use it in reality, when I'm very old , in many many many years!!
	Lancing SC

laser47 Send Private Message Find Member's Posts Far too distracted from work Joined: 11 Feb 06 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 349	Post Options Post Reply Quote laser47 Report Post Quote Reply Posted: 17 Feb 06 at 8:42pm
	have any of you heard that MP3 clip thats floating around of an american radio talk show and there's some guy phoning in about some grannies battering a road rage driver. that can't be real?