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If you were an MP

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Skiffybob View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Skiffybob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: If you were an MP
    Posted: 12 May 09 at 3:49pm

Sorry, I forgot to add the VX40 into my claim.

Can I put it in next month please.

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sten View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote sten Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 09 at 4:02pm
Originally posted by Guest#260

What a bunch of complete t**sers they are; it's a utter disgrace; how we the public/tax payer allow this just to drift past is beyond me ... we don't have any real politicians left.

oxford dictionary

politician

  • noun 1 a person who is professionally involved in politics, especially as a holder of an elected office. 2 chiefly US a person who acts in a manipulative and devious way, typically to gain advancement.

looks like they are all real politicians

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ASok View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote ASok Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 09 at 4:33pm
I thought the second home in Southampton was a good one.  That would really cut my hours commute to the coast
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No. 5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote No. 5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 09 at 6:08pm

Originally posted by The Moo


Justification? The rules didn't say that I couldn't.... apparently

Yeh, it's quite handy for them that they made the rules up themselves.

What a bunch of freeloading lowlifes they are and yet they have the temerity to tell the population to exercise pay restraint! They really make my blood boil, I would love to kick them all out of Parliament, personally, with my booted size 10s up their collective @rses. The useless bunch of thieving, lying toerags! 

Ah, that's better. Rant over.

edited for lack of anger



Edited by No. 5
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alstorer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote alstorer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 09 at 6:18pm
Originally posted by Skiffybob

I'd claim for buying 1,000 acres of land, and building a 650acre heated swimming pool in it that's 8ft deep and kept at a constant 28 degrees.


I would justify it on the basis that:-


1./ It would keep the construction industry gainfully employed


2./ It would stop a lot of swimming pool companies from gong bust, as MP's clearly can't afford to keep a pool without th help of the State


3./ It would be creating an important local water reserve (already chlorinated)


4./ It would be a great place to drown MPs that abused their positions


5./ It could povide value for the taxpayer by installing wave machines (we'd tell them that these are the ones that generate electricity, but in reality we'd just put in the ones that make waves, so that it'd be like sailing in the sea off Brisbane).



I'd put massive walls and and a roof around that, with huge banks of fans at the end, capable of producing both completely smooth and interestingly (but not annoyingly) shifty and gusty wind. Big heaters on the inlet fans too. Other two sides I'd fit banks of grandstand seating.
-_
Al
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tack'ho View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote tack'ho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 09 at 6:37pm

Originally posted by turnturtle

well the first thing I would do is employ my daughter, she's just turned
one year's old, but she'd make a fantastic research assistant, she can
speak at least five English words, which is about the minimum
educational standard for a civil service job these days.

Using her salary (and in turn the associated tax break from the 50%
income tax darling darling's just given himself) I would export the money
into foreign property ventures and oil shares. If the oil shares start to
take a dip, those greedy arabs can't be trusted, I would invade one of the
neighbouring, less powerful countries just to reinforce my global
dominance and put the sh*t amongst the pigeons in the arab league. I
would then send my old frienemy off to sort out the israel thing,
again reinforcing to those dirty arabs that they can't f**k with me or my
buddies in Washington.   Once the oil shares and property are back up to
astronomical, post global economic meltdown prices (helped off course
by stealth taxing under pseudo-green agendas); I'd chip the whole lot in
or simply take a f**king great offshore, tax-exempt dividend to buy my
Wally yacht and sail off in to the horizon...

... having your drive tarmaced, so short-sighted....

Don't forget to go on youtube (make sure you claim for the top Mac with the really nice wide screen monitor) to annouce how it's all really our fault and how your saving us from ourselves, before getting your driver to exceed the speed limit to get you to your country house to play your afternoon game of croquet, before getting him to speed back into town (tell your pet Chief constable to waive any speeding tickets) so you can take in a show paid for by the cultrual commision before retiring to your union funded grace and favour flat and relaxing with a BJ off your secretary whilst sipping a nice glass of Brandy! BUNCH OF A**!



Edited by tack'ho
I might be sailing it, but it's still sh**e!
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radixon View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote radixon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 09 at 7:00pm
I'd start easy with the Waterproof clothing cos this country always rains, the summer clothing for when its hot.
Move on to claim for my boat, make it stable, so a Tornado will do nicely to commute up the Thames using the most economical form of transport going
Then to top it off, add the support boat that I can run for free as I can claim all the fuel based on "expenses" for commuting.

When the papers come my way, I'd take them for a ride on my boats so I can earn more money!!!
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Skiffybob View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote Skiffybob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 09 at 9:02am
Wow, feel that anger
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alstorer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote alstorer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 09 at 9:47am
Originally posted by ASok

I thought the second home in Southampton was a good one.  That would really cut my hours commute to the coast


Especially given it was actually a third home, what with that MP representing and living in Luton... interestingly one of the other Luton MPs, who lives (in Luton) on the same street as her, has no second home, and commutes. Still, that's £3240 Standard or more likely £5184.00
-_
Al
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iwsmithuk View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote iwsmithuk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 09 at 10:15am

What a load of reactionary rubbish.

I would have hoped  for the ability to see beyond the nonsense stirred up by the very poor reporting of this whole story, although on reflection I dont see why sailors should be any more perceptive than any other bunch of easily led idiots.

Yes some of the claims do look bad with retrospective scrutiny. Do any of you file a tax return? What do you claim for? Do any of you have an expense account at work? Are you sure all of your claims would stand up if examined? Are you really sure you would behave any differently in the same circumstances?

What you need to remember if that the main function of a newspaper is to make money by selling newspapers. They do this by hysterically reporting things in a way that stirs up an easily led public into a lather about things that really don't matter that much.

Most MPs are decent hard working people. If you don't like the system then get involved and change it, if you're not prepared to do that then you really have little cause to complain. How many of you don't even vote?

Storm in a teacup. If you're going to get irate, at least try and do it over something important.

 

 

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