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mike ellis View Drop Down
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Joined: 30 Dec 05
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Posts: 2339 		Post Options Post Options   Quote mike ellis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Dear Dave
    Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 5:50pm
i cldnt agree more with contender a coment like that will get me drowned, scalped or hung. but lighting the candle sounds like a great idea.

Edited by mike ellis
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49erGBR735HSC View Drop Down
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Posts: 1991 		Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 2:54am
Originally posted by bigwavedave

Make sure the candle is alight before she sniffs it. This will numb the nasal passages and cure the habit.

To stop her eating the chocolate subtly drop into the conversation how fat she is looking.  I find an informative medical comment such as "wow hips that big must be a great natural contraceptive" normally does the trick.

...........LEGEND ONCE AGAIN DAVE!!!!!!!!
Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1402 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 06 at 2:35am
Originally posted by bigwavedave

I find an informative medical comment such as "wow hips that big must be a great natural contraceptive" normally does the trick.

Your going straight to hell for that one

Just dont forget the correct answer to the question 'am I as big as she is?' is always no.  You may think what you like.....but the answer is no else you get one of these

When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Posts: 944 		Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jan 06 at 10:03pm

Make sure the candle is alight before she sniffs it. This will numb the nasal passages and cure the habit.

To stop her eating the chocolate subtly drop into the conversation how fat she is looking.  I find an informative medical comment such as "wow hips that big must be a great natural contraceptive" normally does the trick.
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mike ellis View Drop Down
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Posts: 2339 		Post Options Post Options   Quote mike ellis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jan 06 at 8:23pm
dear dave, is there anything i can do to get my sister to stop sniffing chocolate scented candles?? the only thing that will make her budge is real chocolate!! what can i do i dont want a heavy crew im too heavy anyway???
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les5269 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1530 		Post Options Post Options   Quote les5269 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jan 06 at 7:46pm
Glad I'm not paying you !
49er 531 & 5000 5025 and a mirror(now gone to mirror heaven)!

Grafham water Sailing Club The greatest inland sailing in the country
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Contender 541 View Drop Down
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Posts: 1402 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Contender 541 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jan 06 at 8:21am

Originally posted by bigwavedave

On returning to work after the Christmas holiday, fashion a simple sign to be worn round the neck saying the following:

"Yes, I had a good Christmas. Yes, I ate and drank far too much. Yes, I saw some of the family. Yes, the telly was $4*!. Yes, today is gonna drag like a bitch."

This should prevent any inane, predictable conversations that you really don't want to have.

 

Well, I am now back at work.

I have had 3 cups of coffee and spent about an hour avoiding starting, including 30 minutes on the web

All I can say is that at the moment I commend the previous comment to the house.

Bah Humbug Grumble
When you find a big kettle of crazy it's probably best not to stir it - Pointy Haired Boss

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Black no sugar View Drop Down
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Posts: 3941 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Black no sugar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 06 at 3:45pm

Ohhhhhhhhh who's grumpy today, eh?
Inane conversation touches 99% of life on Earth and has the great advantage of requiring no attention from either "conversationee", leaving the mind free to wonder what's for dinner, whether you should really have had that last pint or if it's going to be windy on Bough Beech today! (naaaaah..... not today )

Still, nice avatar Dave

Lancing SC
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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Posts: 944 		Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 06 at 10:04am
On returning to work after the Christmas holiday, fashion a simple sign to be worn round the neck saying the following:

"Yes, I had a good Christmas. Yes, I ate and drank far too much. Yes, I saw some of the family. Yes, the telly was $4*!. Yes, today is gonna drag like a bitch."

This should prevent any inane, predictable conversations that you really don't want to have.
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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Posts: 944 		Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Dec 05 at 3:12pm
Yeah but I always arrange to work on a day rate for the first week of January
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