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How to balance Sailing + Relationship

Printed From: Yachts and Yachting Online
Category: General
Forum Name: Repair & maintenance
Forum Discription: Questions & tips on the subject
Printed Date: 28 Nov 22 at 7:12pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 9.665y -

Topic: How to balance Sailing + Relationship
Posted By: Anne
Subject: How to balance Sailing + Relationship
Date Posted: 23 Jun 04 at 11:52am

Relationships are all about commitment, but when it comes to Sailing that is also a commitment. The question is how to Sail regularly and how to keep the other half happy also. This could be added as being a sore head issue!

Does anyone have a secret way in dealing with this please share, I'm sure you'll be helping more than just myself!

A bad day on the water beats a good day in the office!

Posted By: Dongle
Date Posted: 23 Jun 04 at 12:06pm

Encourage other half to take up sailing!

Good Luck!



I feel the need...the need for speed!

Posted By: Anne
Date Posted: 23 Jun 04 at 12:12pm

Dongle, do you have another half? (sorry if a personal question) what is your secret, what happens if the other person does sail just not as good as you?



A bad day on the water beats a good day in the office!

Posted By: Linki
Date Posted: 23 Jun 04 at 1:18pm

Oh I think it's a case for the big heave ho. You can't let relationships get in the way of a good time on the water. (Hope my wife doesn't read this )

Do you think I'd make a good marriage guidence counciller?

mmmmmmm.. I'm sure counciller is spelt wrong.

Posted By: ChrisJ
Date Posted: 23 Jun 04 at 1:46pm

a) race together

b) race against each other

c) race different classes

d) sail together without racing

e) sail at the same time in different boats.

Start at the top: and when the relationship can stand it no longer, move down one step.

In the 28 years we have been together, we have done a, c and d. We are now back again to a), with the kids doing c).


Posted By: Tarten
Date Posted: 23 Jun 04 at 3:42pm

That is a great way to put it, racing together is good it's when you get to the point of who knows best....!

Posted By: Dongle
Date Posted: 24 Jun 04 at 9:39am
Originally posted by Anne

Dongle, do you have another half? (sorry if a personal question) what is your secret, what happens if the other person does sail just not as good as you?




I do have another half - who is most importantly ... fantastically tolerant. She is reluctantly land stricken due to a nasty chest infection but the instructional programme will commence shortly!

(we only moved back to the Solent a year ago after many years in the wilderness)



I feel the need...the need for speed!

Posted By: jeffers
Date Posted: 25 Jun 04 at 3:27pm

Well you could always be lucky like me and half you other half (re)introduce you back to sailing. She can't really complain!!

She won't ever crew for me becuase I am too "balls out" when it comes to racing for her (scared her just a tad when we sailed together once windy Saturday afternoon. She said never again!

However she does crew in a Scorpion and we have some good battles out on the water (I bought her helms old Laser). We can both helm, she is even threatening to have a go in a Laser Radial, could get interesting if she gets good!

My advice (given the couples I have seen sail together) is don't sail with a partner, I am sure others have their own point of view.


Posted By: Croff
Date Posted: 09 Jul 04 at 1:09am
I don't think there is an answer to the original question. Race during the day and see them at night?Works for me though saying that I'm only 19 and me and my girlfriend aren't that serious.  Anyway I'm sure your other half has something they like to do that you don't take part in to encourage them to do that while your sailing.  Alternatvely introduce your other half to the other people that your sailing club who don't sail but like to be involved.


Posted By: 2savage
Date Posted: 19 Jul 04 at 7:37pm

Anne, so much of the answer here depends on your current level of commitment and future aspirations.  I used to be a VERY serious sailor back in the 60's and 70's, emigrating to USA back in the 80's .  When I met my wife I had just started to windsurf and we would head down to the beach throughout summer.  She tried the sport but was not very skilled and was not a strong swimmer, fearing the falls in the deep stuff (especially with the rig on her head!). So we bought a 30 foot sail boat with an inboard diesel (Ron Holland half tonner) and started sailing together.  Without boring you any more, my wife now runs the foredeck on my 36 foot yacht 'Savage' and loves it.  We've been together now for almost 20 years.

Larger boats can handle some average talent.  Dinghies and windsurfers are less forgiving.  So my advice is, expand your thinking if sailing and relationships need to co-exist.  

Posted By: patj
Date Posted: 21 Jul 04 at 1:24pm

We've a number of examples from real life but most important - join a sailing club with a good social life and you'll both get involved however much or little you sail.


Most couples sail together. Try not to argue but if thats a problem both sail but with differrent people eg another arguing couple. If you have to argue sail to the far end of the lake and argue out of earshot!

Sail singly and partner does shore based activities or race box or rescue boat but still involved in club. Dog walking and fishing are also options here.

One friend sailed regularly and his wife was never seen until she decided to take up sailing, joined a club beginners course and now races his laser so regularly that hubby needs to buy himself another one!

Sail singly and let the partner get on with their own hobby.

Lose the partner and come to the club as a divorced person. Sail regularly with another and form a relationship from the sailing.

Sail singly or together, meet someone new and form a new relationship - given today's divorce rates this is quite common in clubs.

Whatever you do - enjoy it!

Posted By: HelenF
Date Posted: 21 Jul 04 at 1:50pm
WARNING: If you take your other half sailing, they may end up
sub editor for Yachts and Yachting....(thanks J)

Posted By: Gael
Date Posted: 26 Jul 04 at 3:25pm
What puzzles me is why this topic is under repair and maintenance?

Posted By: Gael
Date Posted: 26 Jul 04 at 3:38pm
Originally posted by jeffers

My advice (given the couples I have seen sail together) is don't sail with
a partner, I am sure others have their own point of view.


Not always true - depends on the partner/relationship.... and I have
experienced the definitely not a good idea and the brilliant
combination... so I would say give it a try, but if it doesn't work
try another option.

Posted By: Lighthouse
Date Posted: 28 Jul 04 at 10:26am
Loads of these posts highlight that the case is generally that the man
sails and the woman doesn't.

My girlfriend is a better sailor than me! Brilliant.

Posted By: Harry44981!
Date Posted: 26 Aug 04 at 7:09pm

The best option in my opinion is if your partener / parent (in my case) doesn't sail, but injoys the social side then thats perfect: your trolly waiting for you along with food, then a long hot shower whilst your boat  is packed up and on the road trailor! if only it worked like that!


Posted By: Phil eltringham
Date Posted: 31 Aug 04 at 9:39pm

But do you trust someone who does not sail to pack away your beloved toy?

Shifts Happen

Posted By: Harry44981!
Date Posted: 02 Sep 04 at 11:46am
Yes there's that aspect- you'd have to drill them first!


Posted By: Anne
Date Posted: 18 Oct 04 at 3:35pm
enjoying the same sport as your other half is very nice, doesn't anyone feel like they want something that is of interest to them not the other half?

Posted By: sailor girl
Date Posted: 18 Oct 04 at 7:06pm
why don't you send the other half to the bar while u sail? and make up time apart later.....

Sailor Girl, Queen Of The Forum!

Posted By: Sunshine
Date Posted: 28 Oct 04 at 1:37pm
Going sailing with a partner is a great test of a relationship - you can get
to see a whole other side of someone... and if it works it's much better
than hanging wallpaper!!! In my experience it's also an indication of other
activities that will work well

Posted By: Binky
Date Posted: 15 Nov 04 at 8:18pm
A really test of trust is seeing how many times yor other half
dunks you while you are on the wire!!!

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