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best funny emails |
Post Reply | Page <1 138139140141142 195> |
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Splosh
Far too distracted from work Joined: 13 May 07 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 497 |
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Topic: best funny emails Posted: 02 Dec 07 at 9:08pm |
Yep, both seem the same to me!
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RS300 - 346 :D
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Villan
Really should get out more Joined: 26 Nov 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1768 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 02 Dec 07 at 9:09pm |
I'm off on holiday.
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Vareo - 149 "Secrets"
TandyUK Servers |
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stuarthop
Really should get out more Joined: 22 Dec 04 Location: Nottingham Online Status: Offline Posts: 1040 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 02 Dec 07 at 9:40pm |
i better get some holiday booked
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tmoore
Really should get out more Joined: 01 Nov 07 Location: Wales Online Status: Offline Posts: 880 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 02 Dec 07 at 9:44pm |
its amazing how many different olours dolphins are |
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Landlocked in Africa
RS300 - 410 Firefly F517 - Nutshell Micro Magic RC yacht - Eclipse |
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HannahJ
Really should get out more Joined: 23 Jul 05 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 861 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 02 Dec 07 at 10:23pm |
I knew I was stressed, but not that much! Do you think they float? Wonder what cow armbands would be like... *gibber*
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MIRROR 64799 "Dolphin"
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist hopes it will change; the realist adjusts the sail |
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pompeysailor
Posting king Joined: 16 Jul 07 Online Status: Offline Posts: 101 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 04 Dec 07 at 4:59pm |
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself |
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Jamie600
Really should get out more Joined: 14 Jun 05 Online Status: Offline Posts: 718 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 05 Dec 07 at 10:47am |
A woman was sitting on the bus, when she noticed the man on the seat in front acting strangely. Every so often he would sneeze, then take out a tissue and clean him self up 'down there'. He did this several times, so the woman leaned over and said 'excuse me, but theat is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, what do you think you're doing?' The man explains, ' sorry, it's a medical condition, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm' 'Really?' the womans says, 'are you taking anything for it?' 'Yes' he says - 'Pepper!'
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RS600 1001
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Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 05 Dec 07 at 5:01pm |
Not an e-mail, but mildly amusing:- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/7126973.stm What has the BBC come to!! |
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timnoyce
Really should get out more Joined: 05 Aug 04 Location: Hampshire Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 05 Dec 07 at 5:14pm |
Wow, I didn't realise you could get banned from places for doing that sort of thing! Lucky they don't police this as tightly at sailing clubs or I think a lot of people would have to wait outside after a weekend of bacon sarnies, curry and beer!
The sails of pepto-bismol will sky rocket near sailing clubs everywhere! |
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BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb |
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timnoyce
Really should get out more Joined: 05 Aug 04 Location: Hampshire Online Status: Offline Posts: 1991 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 05 Dec 07 at 8:48pm |
This is a bricklayer's accident report,which was printed in the newsletter of
the Australian equivalant of the works' Compensation board.This is a true story.
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.. Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I poor "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. when I completed my work, I found that i had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. securing the rope at the ground floor I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then i went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, Ilost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In thevicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken coller bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent , not stopping until th fingers of my right hand were two kunckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of bricks, that barrel weighed approximatly 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lassen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as i lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry. kind Regards, Mike pashby |
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BEARFOOT DESIGN
Cherub 2648 - Comfortably Numb |
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