So let's have some sailing duffering....

Today, apart from telling my RS200 crew 'that's the five minute gun ... why is everyone starting' and then getting all the control lines on the Laser intermingled, I came up with a new high in duffing.

I have one of those new metal clew sleeves on my Laser and every month or so, spray it with PFTE lubricant to allow it to move freely; however yesterday when I sprayed it, I did it over the deck.

BIG mistake in a gusty, swingy Force 4-6. I had no grip on the nice slippy boat deck and fell in whenever I needed to tack in a hurry.

Luckily the block fitting at the end of the boom broke and put me out of my misery as I ahd to retire

Any other sailing duffers out there?

been there, done that. except was sailing a gp14 and BOTH me and my helm fell about. was frustrating but highly amusing for the commitee (sp?). we saw the funny side aswell.

toady having so much fun screaming alone in my rs300 that i never heard the 5,4 or 1minute

saw the single flag up and assumed it was the 5minute. luckily i was reasonably cloase to the line though. . got nailed anyway due to the f5 and me being about 2stone underweight. .

tom

A couple of weeks ago, at a TT Race, we had started the sequence and were gently making way in about 15kts of wind, no urgency - we were where we wanted to be. 

Wind veers by about 45 degrees as we are hit by a gust. 

I am in the water and my helm is at the bottom of the boad blood running down his head - teaching me some new words

He gets the boat sorted out and picks me up.  My first words "you have 2 minutes and 10 seconds to sort yourself out".

Blinding start as everyone else is looking open mouthed at us - helm now has a red boyancy aid (it was yellow).  It was two days later when the bruise came out on my arm that we figured out how I ended up in the water

hmmm, which tale from my first few outings in a 600 is least embarassing?

i think the one on the day of the topper open meeting. i was rigged and ready to go when all these toppers were hanging about waiting and it was a perfect day, sunny, wind SE 10-15 knots, perfect. i was itching to go sailin even though there wasn't really enough water. oh well sod that, who needs water? so i wiggle my way through in between all these toppers to the slip way go down the sip and have to beat out the haven. okay this shouldn't be too hard. ive had usual escort of about 3 people to get me off the slip way, set off out the have, get to the far side, tack, clear the wave screen think okay ive just about got enough speed to t.. CRUNCH! daggerboard on the bottom, run in to the boat, luff up, uncleat the rudder, pull up some dagger board and the boat promptly capsizes. please remember at this point the audience, about 30 topper sailors and associated parents, siblings and dogs all lined up along the wall, sniggering. thinking oh well this isnt too bad, ill just walk the boat upwind a bit, right it and go away. so i get to the bow, im only waist deep in water and start walking, at which point everyone has given up any pretence of discreetness and are outright laughing. oh well i think, ive beensailing a 600, ive lost all sense of dignity what with my 50 000 odd capsizes in the last 2 weekends.

lesson to be learnt: if an open meeting's on let everyone else lanch first, that way your only entertainment for the parents.

I sailed two races at a 600 open, when we launched it was really windy so I raked the rig back, but the wind dropped to almost nothing for the third race. I tried to adjust the rake on the water by using the trapeze as a temporary shroud, something I have done a few times before in worse conditions, but for some reason I slipped and lost the rig over the side!

Luckily it was recovered and there was no damage to the boat other than a few nicks in the progrip, but the rest of the races were abandoned so no discard! And to add insult to injury I was done for speeding on the way home....

A while back we were going downwind with the kite up trotting along quite nicely Helm decided we needed to gybe, so off we went. It was a lovely gybe, except that I completely missed the trapezee handle and promptly ran straight off the side of the boat with the kite sheet in my hand! When my head came back above water my helm was standing on the centreboard giving a little verbal abuse. I count myself lucky though because he couldn't quite reach me to push me back under. We went from 1st to 5th in the time it took us to get the damn boat back up!

I also once sprayed industrial silicon on our centreboard to help it go up or down. As you can imagine the resulting chaos on the next capsize was great fun I went straight off the end as my helm followed me!

i can top that! in one of my early outings in the 600 i was reaching along sitting at the back f the rack, i thought i was hooked on so as a gust came through i could move out and back. it was such a good pla. soon enough a gust came through, i bore away down a wave moved out and back and very casually walked off the back of my boat! the best bit was watching the boat sail off without me for about3 seconds before falling over. 3 seconds in a 600 = a bloody long swim though.

sailing a 29er with a friend. im helming and call for a tack. he shouts to go so i do. nicely timed, boat stays flat and he hits the wire dead as the battens pop. clips himself on and lets go of the handle and plops into the water when his QR hook comes out. very funny at the time

great stories though, keep them coming please.

Great stories indeed.

The other side of duffing as (© Gideon Coe) is finding yourself slightly out of touch with the modern world.

Such as finding yourself saying 'Well 400's are too big for our pond'

F3-4 " Draycote Water

Out practicising in the Fireball, dropping kite about 300 yds from wall (for those of you who know Draycote) as I uncleat halyard we gybe accidentally taking my crew off the boat. Leaving myself with kite up approaching wall singlehanded just about planing on a run

Managed to drop kite and do perfect man overboard without saftey bopats even noticing (all though we did get rather close to the wall)

Norfolk Broads - top place for duffing.

First time I rented a 28' yacht from the NB Yacht Co in Horning, took it through Potter Heigham. This involves dropping the mast with the big lead counterweight, getting the bridge pilot to take it through, then mooring past the newer road bridge and re-raising the mast.

So tie up on the bank, drop mud weight just to be sure (top duffing) raise mast, decide that we should be able to sail off rather than motor, so untie with normal dinghy crew at helm as I am tweaking the main.

Boat takes off towards the other bank, shout at crew on helm, he can't turn it down river. We are heading towards one of those pretty/naff cabing style cottages with a 6' long bow sprit with a metal tip aimed at owner who is fishing ... try to start engine, someone points out that we still have the mud weight down and dragging, which is causing the lack of steering.

Bowsprit does arc over cottage lawn, dolphin striker (wire under bowsprit) hits bank, we bounce off and carry on our way.

BTW later that day running down Meadow Dyke has to be one of my best sailing experiences - real white knuckle ride as it is narrow and you don't have any room to do anyting except crash into the reads.

RS200 with (very-new-to-sailing, just finished sail-training course) crew on lake for Saturday morning  race.

Had delegated  securing  of inspection hatch and  bung and  mounting of rudder, while I darted in for a quick No.1(wee) to rid body of beer wastage from night before.

Start race, good position,  but  no speed.  Top of lake way behind  the other 200s.

Boat very sluggish.   annoyed and  vexed....

Few  minutes  later,  water  coming over the stern!  no longer  annoyed but somewhat alarmed !

Headed straight for the slip with boat increasingly sitting lower in the water.

PROBLEM -  bung in stern missing!!!!

Took full 10 minutes to drain the boat with boat semi sitting on trolley on the slip.

Very embrassing.

Crew devasted (but not their fault.... should've checked everything myself).

Here's one........ used to sail a boat which was  stored in club stores (eons ago).

local regatta  - mounted mast and secured shrouds (as per usual).

Set off  up 1st leg in first race. sailing  well. Call and intiated the tack.   Lean out and mast fell down !!!!!!   straight over the side - Bugger!!!

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Some little S**T  had removed a  split-ring from the shroud pin - had left the boat on beach unguarded infront of  local youth squad while away checking sailing  instructions. At the time of  launching  couldn't figure why they were looking on with so much interest.... (was it because the boat wasn't a  420 ? , no!) . I knew something had happened but  couldn;t figure at launch - soon found out!

MORAL -  always secure your split rings with tape (I didn't use tape at the time)