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Dear Dave

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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 1:52pm

Pushing your luck there Blobby with three questions in one but I am here to help.

Whatever you do DO NOT BUILD A CHERUB IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.  I cannot express this strongly enough.  Build it in the bedroom.  You will find the bed an ideal working platform.  Also if you build it in the living room you will not be able to see the television properly.  Once your new arrival is here your wife will spend most of her time in the nursery and you will be left to sleep in peace on the sofa, so no need for the bedroom, in fact she won't want you anywhere near her in the bedroom once she has given birth.

A chinese takeaway and bunch of flowers from a garage forecourt is not suitable compensation.

When my wife last attacked me with a rusty blade I would accept no less than four cans of lager, a large bowl of jellied eels and a subscription to my favourite porn mag as compensation. Stand firm and do not let her get away with anything less.

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49erGBR735HSC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 4:34pm

Dear Dave,

Would you like to do my college assignments for me so I can spend more time with my girlfriend and focus on building a quality relationship?

Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
Helensburgh S.C
Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 4:44pm

Sorry but I am too busy solving serious problems.  Don't worry about your college assignments.  By the time you have spent more time with your girlfriend she will find out what you are really like.  She will realise that she does not want a relationship with you and dump you. 

You will then have plenty of time to do your own assignments.

I hope this puts your mind at rest.

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49erGBR735HSC View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote 49erGBR735HSC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 4:55pm
Good point, need to do the college stuff constantly and we might actually last more than a few weeks, bet she'll be glad for the peace too....
Dennis Watson 49er GBR735
Helensburgh S.C
Boat Insurance from Noble Marine

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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 4:59pm

Thank you for the response.  Glad to be of service.

NEXT!

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Post Options Post Options   Quote hurricane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 5:42pm

Dear Dave

People say I have a big head, is there any medical operation I can have to help this?

 

lifes to short to sail slow boats!

RIP Olympic Tornado 1976-2007
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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 6:09pm

Yes I have heard of your condition, infact it is quite a famous trait of yours in the sailing fraternity.

Unfortunately there is no operation available.  I would suggest that you wrap your overlarge ears around your huge head so as not to alarm people.

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hurricane View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote hurricane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 9:15pm
could i not just use a pin?
lifes to short to sail slow boats!

RIP Olympic Tornado 1976-2007
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bigwavedave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote bigwavedave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 10:34pm

Maybe you could clarify your affliction for me.  Is the big head you have a large zit?  If so the treatment is easy.

Girls love busting zits, so just ask any available girl for a bit of a squeeze.

If you do succeed in reducing the size of your head then remember that you will be aerodynamically faster upwind due to reduced drag, but slower downwind due to decreased surface area.

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Post Options Post Options   Quote hurricane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 05 at 10:35pm
no it is just an overly large head! hence the fat head nickname lol
lifes to short to sail slow boats!

RIP Olympic Tornado 1976-2007
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